What do I do? I feel depressed and empty at 32 years old?

Question

I am 32 years old. I live with my family up in a rural area where there isn't really anything (far off from the city). I'm divorced and was married just 6 weeks. My wife had run back to her lover in another country. Since divorce, I've had ups and downs in life. Many different jobs, travelling alot and has given my relatives and communities to be the central part of their gossip.

And since I'm back with my family and unmarried, i've been abused or harrassed several times by non-wanted comments about wasting my time and life. I feel everything so down and deprieved, to an extent that I just want to go away from everyone.

Where should I go? What should I do? Who do I need in my life?

Answer 1

you have a great life ahead of u

God gave u the opportunity to live

ENJOY it to the max!

theres people who worse problems than you

read the bible, if u have children take them to another country and go for an adventure..take pictures

if u dont have children..hang out w.ur friends

have an all white party

you can still travel and meet the one in another country

i understand how ur feeling tho bc i want to do international business and im studying french, german, chinese n i already know english n spanish fluently but my bf told me that he wants me to be a full time mom..he doesnt want me to get a job..but then why am i getting my degree for?

so enjoy ur traveling life..something that i would love to do but who knows if ill be able to! be yourself and ull be able to meet your other half! =]

Answer 2

Abuse from prolonged and untreated trauma affects the brain like eating too much sugar affects the body's ability to regulate blood sugar levels, i.e. diabetes.  It's a simplified example. What I'm trying to say is that depression has a physical cause just like diabetes or high cholesterol or blood pressure and needs to be treated by a doctor.  I won't lie to you, there are dozens if not hundreds of meds out there and every individual responds differently to every med, so it might take some time to find the right one.  Be your own advocate, get educated, join online support groups.  I've been dealing with it for 40 years.  

The good news is your depression sounds like "situational depression" and can be treated short term (a year) with or without meds, and with therapy and time to process your grief and learn some skills to protect yourself from the abuse.  Either way it's best to talk to your regular doctor about this and let him or her make the call.  Depression is manageable, and survivable.  OK?  Even a phone call to a crisis hotline can make a world of difference.  I don't have a number but I bet someone will post it, and you can always spend a buck and call 411.  

Answer 3

ask GOD

Answer 4

You need to find out what you want in life well look at your childhood and see if there was something you wanted to do if you cant find anything then try on stabilizing your life and moving out  to your own place sorry if this doesnt help  

Answer 5

We all feel overwhelmed by the pressure of everyone to conform. I mean, we all should be married with kids, etc. Not everyone fits into the stereotypical mode. Someone mentioned childhood and that is right. I grew up in foster homes so family does not come easy to me. I do better alone with my pets. To society that is abnormal but to me it is alright, pets need parents too. Do what you want to do, after all it is your life and rememember, ‘not everyone will like you no matter how nice you are’.

Answer 6

Every morning before your feet hit the floor, give thanks to something that you are grateful for. It's really that simple. Be grateful...it may be for the sunshine, or the smell of coffee, or the birds chirping but be grateful. Then be kind. Remember"do unto others..." The more you give of yourself the more that will come back to you. Have a beautiful day.

Answer 7

You need Jesus Christ. Go to church all of your needs will be met there. Have faith. Trust and believe. If you are already a believer return to the word of God and he will direct you on what you should do.

Answer 8

I know this is going to sound so cliche' but it's THE BEST THING ANYONE CAN DO FOR HIS/HER LIFE - Join a Community Church. Get involved. You will find a whole new purpose there, not to mention the RIGHT kind of people you want to be around that will encourage you and accept you for who you are and what you have to offer to the community through your involvement in Church. God Bless and Good Luck! =)  

Answer 9

The first step is to get out of that house. Obviously it's not helping you feel any better about yourself, and you're too far away from anyone to get any help or make changes.

Get a job, any job with a paycheck that can support you, get an apartment IN the city, and if you can afford it or have health coverage you should really talk to a therapist because you've been through some pretty major trauma.

You don't need anyone in your life for the time being - you're kind of messed up from the last relationship, so take a breather. Just concentrate on *figuring things out*. Think about what you want to do with your life but not based on your family or anyone else. Take some steps to work towards whatever goal you decide, whether it's career related, or if you just want to get a black belt! Learn to cook really well, or do something else like that. As soon as you start accomplishing things, your mood and self esteem will rise.

I still really think you should talk to a professional, even your general practitioner would be something.

But the biggest thing is Move Out.  

Answer 10

Oh I am in your shoes!!! I'm 26.  I'm divorced with 3 kids on my own.  I used to be in a rural area, however I joined the Army, seen the world and that great stuff.  Now I'm just like you.  I'm out of the Army and now want to try everything that I couldn't.  I know I need to concrete plan since I'm raising my kids.  Everyday I make goals some short term, some long term.  and between those times I map the steps to get to the goal.  I wish you luck.  Always follow your heart.  It should never stear you wrong, however if you feel it has, chaulk it up to a lesson learned.

Answer 11

Mike sometime people in small towns tend to think  you should be married with kids by 25, is just the way they think, it doesn`t necessarily mean it`s they way it is. be your self and do the things you like to do, live your life the way you want to, not the way they want you too. email me if you like, I am on line now.

Answer 12

There is only one person that can answer these questions.... YOU.

You have to pull yourself up by the boot straps and realize that life is not fair (to any degree). People get screwed over daily and thats the way it is. I can relate to your depression as I too am experiencing a bout of sadness due to where I am in my life at the age of 30. (I never would have imagined I would be at this point in my life.) However, theres nothing anyone can really do to help me but me. (and of course the good Lord himself).

Theres a saying I heard a British artist say once; "In the last round of the garrison, no one is truely there for you but you. They can't be in your corner 100% because they have to fend for themselves as well." That my friend is a sad reality of life that comfortable modern times have made most of us forget. Its up to ourselves to make the best of life, because we can not forget that life has no garauntees or promises. (outside of s*x = procreation, we must eat to live and at some point life extinquishes.)

I don't want to come off as sounding preaching, but you have the will power to stop this frieghttrain of despair now. Simply stay focused on bettering yourself. It all starts with how you view the world. Try this exercise, everyday for the next month do one good deed a day. (no matter how big or small). For the next month, compliment someone once a day. For the next month, sit back and do your favorite hobby 2 hours a day. (no more no less). I know this sounds like a joke, but its not. Doing these activites will help you take the focus off whats wrong in your life, and start focusing on what is right in your life. You will start noticing a difference in the way you feel. Things will start to become positive and you will feel happier.

I pray that you are able to mentally, emaotionall, and spiritually grow out of this funct that you are currently experiencing. May God bless you.