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What do I do? I live in MO and my mom is taking me to court for grandparents' rights.?

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My mother is taking me to court for grandparents' rights. It all stems from prior attempts to let her spend time with my son. We had an agreement and that wasn't good enough for her. She has told me in the past that she was going to take my son to a certain place and come to find out she had taken him else where. Every time that I would let my son spend the night with her she would always take him in the other room as we would be getting ready to go and she would give him candy. This would always make him throw fits. So, we asked her to stop and she said that she would, however she didn't.

My son's father and I are divorced and have separate families now so, my son is with him every other weekend and he has an overnight visit and a three hour visit a week. Almost the entire time he is supposed to be with his dad he is at his dad's parents. Which has given him for the most part three homes and it is difficult for him enough the way that it is.

She didn't get to see him while he was with his dad for six weeks and says that we should have let her keep him on our weekends with him. And, I made sure to take him to the family get together. As soon as we got there she took him off by herself and didn't let anyone else have time to spend with him. While we were there my son got into trouble for not listening and had to sit down for two minutes which my mother had a fit over. Then, it was time to eat. There was already a line so I told my son to sit and I would get him something to eat and my mom heard me tell him this. He decided he wanted to play with a ball around people that were eating and I told him no. So, my mom picked up the ball and started to play with him anyway. Then, when my mom went up to get a plate she got one for my son too even though she heard me say that I would get it for him. This is just one of the instances that she has done to contradict what we say when it comes to our son.

She also had the nerve to tell me that I don't let my son have any fun because I will not let him go to her house due to her not being able to follow our guide lines. I understand that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren but not to the point that she is taking it.

I told her that I was tired of her doing this all of the time and told her that there would be no more overnight visits until she could prove that she was able to follow our rules. And, we agreed that she would come see him once a week for as long as she liked. However it wasn't good enough for her. She insistently called and wanted more. She called up to five times a day. Finally, I told her to quit calling and she wouldn't. Then, she called and wanted him and my six month old to go to her house for a few hours. So, I finally had enough and wrote her a letter and told her that she was not to contact us again.

Which brings us to now she has sent me a summons for grandparents' rights. I don't know what to do. She is causing so much drama in our family that my husband is ready to leave because of her. What can I do to make her stop this nonsense. She did a horrible job raising me and now wants for me to let her be around my son and let her tell him and show him that it is ok to go against what his parents say. What do I do? How can I make her stop?

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  1. Wow, this is a lot of drama.  I do understand the importance of guidelines and discipline with children.  However,  your mother doesn't seem to be that bad of an influence.  You haven't mentioned anything alarming like physical abuse or putting him in harm.  Grandmas are suppose to be more relaxed than parents are.  I know my boys have extra goodies and maybe push the boundaries with their Grandma.  But so did I when I was a child.  Some of my fondest memories are those rule free weekends at Grandma's.  At the same time, I think once a week is enough and I doubt she'll get any more time than that.   Why don't you and your husband try to make amends with her.  Give her a few hours one night a week every two weeks.  I doubt that small amount of time will "ruin" your sons behavior.  


  2. Unfortunately you need counsel to respond to the summons. You can respond to the court yourself but it is a job to do. If you and your current husband can talk to her and settle on some rules fine, if not let your lawter respond. Understand it will probably result in a break with your mother which may or may not be a good thing, but life is not ever easy ometimes. good luck

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