Question:

What do I do? I live in MO and my mom is taking me to court for grandparents' rights?

by Guest58545  |  earlier

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My mother is taking me to court for grandparents' rights. It all stems from prior attempts to let her spend time with my son. We had an agreement and that wasn't good enough for her. She has told me in the past that she was going to take my son to a certain place and come to find out she had taken him else where. Every time that I would let my son spend the night with her she would always take him in the other room as we would be getting ready to go and she would give him candy. This would always make him throw fits. So, we asked her to stop and she said that she would, however she didn't.

My son's father and I are divorced and have separate families now so, my son is with him every other weekend and he has an overnight visit and a three hour visit a week. Almost the entire time he is supposed to be with his dad he is at his dad's parents. Which has given him for the most part three homes and it is difficult for him enough the way that it is.

She didn't get to see him while he was with his dad for six weeks and says that we should have let her keep him on our weekends with him. And, I made sure to take him to the family get together. As soon as we got there she took him off by herself and didn't let anyone else have time to spend with him. While we were there my son got into trouble for not listening and had to sit down for two minutes which my mother had a fit over. Then, it was time to eat. There was already a line so I told my son to sit and I would get him something to eat and my mom heard me tell him this. He decided he wanted to play with a ball around people that were eating and I told him no. So, my mom picked up the ball and started to play with him anyway. Then, when my mom went up to get a plate she got one for my son too even though she heard me say that I would get it for him. This is just one of the instances that she has done to contradict what we say when it comes to our son.

She also had the nerve to tell me that I don't let my son have any fun because I will not let him go to her house due to her not being able to follow our guide lines. I understand that grandparents are supposed to spoil their grandchildren but not to the point that she is taking it.

I told her that I was tired of her doing this all of the time and told her that there would be no more overnight visits until she could prove that she was able to follow our rules. And, we agreed that she would come see him once a week for as long as she liked. However it wasn't good enough for her. She insistently called and wanted more. She called up to five times a day. Finally, I told her to quit calling and she wouldn't. Then, she called and wanted him and my six month old to go to her house for a few hours. So, I finally had enough and wrote her a letter and told her that she was not to contact us again.

Which brings us to now she has sent me a summons for grandparents' rights. I don't know what to do. She is causing so much drama in our family that my husband is ready to leave because of her. What can I do to make her stop this nonsense. She did a horrible job raising me and now wants for me to let her be around my son and let her tell him and show him that it is ok to go against what his parents say. What do I do? How can I make her stop?

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4 ANSWERS


  1. I know you will not like my answer...

    I think there is alot more going on than grandma giving out candy.  Grandma's dote on their grand kids, they love it, the kids love it, is a wi win situation.  So I think you harbor bad feelings against your mom for some reason that you have not said, of course you don't have to as this is not a therapy session its is q and a.

    But for the information you have provided, I have to side with Grandma on this.  

    You sound immature and selfish, you are taking an unconditional LOVe AWAY from your child!,And hopefully when your little boy grows up and has children of his own you will NOT want to be a part of his kids lives, because KARMA ALWAYS COMES BACK...

    ALWAYS!    

    I hope my kids allow me to be a part of thier kids lives...


  2. http://www.yourchild1st.com/artman/publi...

    I will agree with the idea that parents who are UNFIT, should not always make decisions.

    Beyond that.. I personally would love to HANG the legislators who created grandparents "rights".. because the Supreme court already ruled, that they do not HAVE rights. And.. the worst part is that the laws passed, have been misused to let pushy and meddling grandparents use courts to intimidate a parent.  Abuse courts, is more like it.

    All of the cases that I have researched claim to use the idea of "best interest of the children".  Disputing parent's authority and such isn't in best interest of ANYONE. It just confuses the child.

    You are not in the middle of divorce at this time.. that is the first thing.  She didn't file when you and dad split.  So, for one thing, it seems like she isn't meeting that qualification to file.

    The hard part is MAKING THE COURT AWARE that HER OWN conduct is disruptive and HARMING your child. Not the other way around.  What you wrote, sent chills down my spine.. I hear exactly the type of meddling, attempts to control and distort, that came out of a grandparent I know... blatant contempt for your responsibility to raise you own child.

    I personally feel that grandparents like this, should not be allowed near a court, much less near the child. YOU desperately need a lawyer who knows how to put a bully in their place. I have seen cases where the grandparent wins these.. and the cases make no sense at all, if you take time to understand Troxel vs Granville.

    After reading the analysis on the link I sent.. Missouri is on a thin line as to ignoring the US Supreme court. It is going to be up to you to put it before the court that her manipulation and arrogance is exactly that, and NOT IN the interest of your child.  

    And I would (if I got my way) make her pay for your attorney, since I would call it harrassment of your rights.

    more

    http://www.yourchild1st.com/grandparents...

  3. Get a good family law attorney and let them earn their keep.  They should let you know pretty quick where you stand legal-wise.  

    Just print this question out and fax it to them, save you some time.. :)

    If she's initiating the court action, she can ask that she be reimbursed for legal expenses, but that's up to the judge to award it.  Get a lawyer, sooner the better, ok?  Not something you can handle as a layman.

  4. I agree with the first answerer.  Get yourself a family law attorney.  Your mother is really going overboard over what could have been a trivial thing if she had done as you asked.  And I don't think you're being at all unreasonable.

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