What do I do about a Family Care Plan?

Question

My wife of 6 years has left me with our 2 daughters. I have been in the Army for 3 years and she has always stayed home with our children, due to not being able to afford childcare for two young children. I have recently contacted her mother and my mother, and neither one of them can assist me with watching our daughters. Does anyone know what I should do or if they would allow me to get out of the military so my children will be well taken care of? Has anyone ever gone thru this ( I am sure someone has... )? I am lost!

Answer 1

The first thing to do is inform your command.  Next to do is contact the family support center and the base CDC (child development centers).  They may be able to help you get child care (which is based on a sliding scale and generally much lower than you would pay with civilian day care...and they can help you find someone who does nights and weekends if needed) while you decide your next step.  Getting out may seem the best option but that will mean having to find a job, loosing your health care benefits and loosing your housing allowance.  That is a lot to cover when you are also just starting out as a single dad.  Your command can help you make some of these choices and if in the end you decide to get out, be able to give you a time line. Additionally, if you are due to deploy any time soon, you should be able to file for an emergency change of orders..clearly this was beyond your control.  Family Care Plan is not so much about day to day child care..that is something most families can deal with..but who would care for the children in the even you deploy.  Logically, that person would be their mother or another relative, but it can be anyone you feel is trustworthy and knows and loves your kids.  We had a friend's daughter live with us while he was deployed since her mother was out of the picture.    Sit down and talk with the people who are there to help..it may be you are able to finish the enlistment you are on,giving you time to prepare logistically and financially for when you get out.  And lastly, speak with JAG.  You will need to have seperation papers filed to ensure your kids (and you) get support from your absent spouse..something that will certainly help no matter what path you go.  

Answer 2

Go to your command as soon as possible and explain what you're going through.  They have an obligation to point you in the right direction to help find a solution to your problem.

Don't count on getting a discharge.  The only way you could get a discharge is if you've exhausted every avenue offered to you.  In which case a hardship discharge could be initiated.  More than likely you'd get a general discharge which becomes honorable after six months.

I'm very sorry to hear that your wife has left you, but at least you have your children and you have the peace of mind of knowing that they will be with you and you'll be taking care of them as best you can.

Good luck.

Answer 3

You need to tell your command all of this.  You can get a discharge for lack of a Family Care Plan.  If you have a good family care plan but just need childcare during the day, you need to go to the CDC.  As a single soldier, you get priority.  Fees are based on your income. If you are granted a discharge for lack of a family plan, the military will move all your belongings back to your Home of Record.