What do I do about dancer who likes to feel me up?

Question

I am an English Country dancer, but he crushes my bosom against his chest. I hate this guy for doing this to me, but he is much stronger than I am and I think he's kind of sadistic too. The first time I ever came to the dance. As we danced he stomped on my first very hard, purposefully I think, and told me that I was wearing the wrong shoes.

It is community dance, so pretty much if I'm there I have to dance with him at some point because we all dance together.

I think I freeze and I don't know what to do.

I think the best thing I can do is not dance with him when we change partners, but this would mess things up.

Isn't there something I can say to him to put him in his place?? Ideas please because I don't want to give up dancing.

Answer 1

""Hey there cowboy I don't like to be crushed against your chest.. I would call you sir... but you don't know how to treat a lady.. please dance properly with me.. as I really don't like to be held that closely. and please let us to this for the sake of having been thrown together for the dance.. I don't like to be fingered by you..  we are here to do some dancing..    ''!!!"" I would definitely not call him ''sir..'' and if it causes you upset and he continues not to listen then talk to the person who decided that you have to be his dance partner and tell that person you wish to swap partners.. you have every right not to be fingered by a guy.. be open to the person who threw you together.. swap dance partners.. even if it causes an upset.. i hope he gets a no nonsense woman who will crush him instead of him having any intention of crushing her.. x*x The others are right.. if he does that it is sexual harrassment and you could even take him to court so I doubt he will talk behind your back and the other females have eyes in their head and know him probably for his weird behaviour and they would never take sides with him.. I believe you should talk to him and if he doesn't change.. talk to everyone there and tell him what he is doing and that you  want to swap partners... that is sufficient reason  even to have him expelled from that dancing club.. sexual harrassment is a serious offense..  he will have a reputation .. a guy like that is not like a soft lamb one day and changes into a wolf the next day.. others will know him for what he is like really.. x*x

Answer 2

Who's in charge of that place. Speak to whoever is in charge of these dances. Talk to other ladies there and get their take on their experience with the creep. Chances are you're not alone with his invasive dancing. That un-gentleman may get his fresh butt kicked out.  

Answer 3

get a boyfriend who is a bear. then he woudlnt want to come near you.  

Answer 4

Stomp on his foot or report him. If he was doing that to me purposely, it's on! I wouldn't care if he is stronger then me, I would do the same to him for being a inconsiderate jerk. I had the same situation. I love to dance too and when I had to partner up with this guy he would touch me inappropriately and do things that you describe on purposed.

Just stand up against him. He might be doing the same thing to other women. They will have your back if that's the case.

Answer 5

Say to him that you wish he wouldn't hold you close. Try to joke a bit and say you have to breath eventually in the dance

Answer 6

The other women he dances with might feel the same way you do, try bringing it up with one of them and see how they feel. It's very likely that he treats most of his dance partners that way, and if you collectively told him to stop he might feel intimidated and decide to listen, if he keeps doing it kick it up a notch and land him a knee to the groin, that'll put him in his place :\

Answer 7

That's sexual harassment.  You should report him to some authority figure.  Or you could threaten to report him.  Read to him the legal definition of sexual harassment/abuse, and then tell him the consequences.  Maybe then, this jerk will get the picture.

Answer 8

Put up your arm, elbow out when he starts to pull you to him. Keep it there.  Say stop.  If he doesn't stop, scream stop.  If he won't respect that, refuse to dance with him.

What kind of gossip are you afraid of?  If you think he'll say something really terrible, talk to your friends in the group and ask their opinion.  Maybe someone else has a problem with him and you can go in together. Decide you won't make him keep you from attending and do something about it.

The only other thing I can think of is to wear some sort of breast plate under your top.  Or, really pad yourself up so it doesn't hurt or doesn't turn him on.

Or, start nattering loudly in his ear the whole time he is dancing with you.  Something totally inane, like what a friend's infant did.  Make up a boring story.  No breathing.  Talk, talk, talk.

Or sing some song other than the one playing.  This is best when you have a perfectly horrible voice.

Answer 9

Stomp on his foot as hard as you can every time he gets grabby, or don't dance with him.