What do I do about him? (come on guys, I really need answers) ?

Question

I am in love with my best friend and he loves me too, but we aren't dating for reasons that I can't really explain. He has a really hard time controlling his temper.. and we got into a huge fight yesterday. Usually when we fight we try to work things out as soon as possible so that he doesn't do something stupid.. but this time I just stopped talking to him because I was too angry. I guess he was more upset than I thought because he ran off and slept with this girl who has been obsessed with him for who knows how long. He told me.. and I'm glad he did.. but I am so upset with him. He really doesn't think things through when he is mad. I know how much he is beating himself up over this because he knows that it hurts me.. but I have no idea what to do. He didn't cheat on me or anything, because we aren't even dating.. but does that make this okay? If he is in love with me as much as he says he is he wouldn't have done that right? Do you think he even loves me at all?

We aren't having s*x, so if he is lying about loving me he isn't just doing it for action. And we truly are best friends.. we are attached at the hip and he tells me everything.. so what's going on here? =\

Answer 1

that wasn't right of him to go sleep with someone else if he loves you, sounds like he needs to take an anger management class. he could love you like he says he does but just be confused. you guys need to talk.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. It sounds like he really needs some professional help in dealing with his anger. I'm sure he depends on you a lot, and I'm sure he does love you. I'm sure he regrets sleeping with the other girl, but that doesn't make it ok. His anger is hurting you and no matter how much you love each other, you can't stay in a relationship that's going to hurt you and cause you harm. Try to help him to get into anger management, and help him fix his problem so you two can be together... And if he refuses help, or hurts you again, I'd say goodbye.  

Answer 3

Yeah i saw your 1st post but really its the first time i dont know how to answer...I've never seen this kind of relationship like Best Friends acting like bestfriends and boyfriends at the same time, its kinda confusing...if bestfriends act like boyfriends they are considered couples, but i dont believe so...

So Im confused sorry I tried to answer...Best friends love each other but its different love....then again boyfriends and bestfriend at the same time can be compatible...but rarely...

Answer 4

"He really doesn't think things through when he is mad."

this makes him a bad risk for a BF, a lover, and a husband.  he will do what he wants, when he wants regardless of how it affects anyone else.  Unless and until he can take responsibility for his anger issues and learn to control it you risk being hurt over and over again by him.

stay friends with him if you want but don't let it go any further.  And don't put your life on hold or avoid dating others while you wait for him to clean up his act---it may not happen.

Answer 5

there are SOOOO many guys out there.  don't make the mistake of putting too much time or energy or feeling into someone who cannot control his temper.  

you become addicted to those emotions of drama and its best for you to find someone who can treat you well and respect you and you do not fight with.

just because someone gets upset with you or treats you with bad temper doesnt mean they love you.  love it how you treat someone over time.

Answer 6

It's a new relationship so I suggest you take it easy and stay best friends and best friends only for awhile  

Answer 7

Well it sounds like he didnt really mean for it to happen this way. And from what he did, he probably really feels sorry. This isnt ok. Like you said he has a big temper, ppl will a big temper won't care what they are doing, they just do it at a moment's notice.

Most likely he probably feels really sorry and I also think he loves you.

Good Luck to you both :)

Answer 8

i think he is not the greatest guy.it'd be better to keep him ONLY as a freiend. I mean if he's getting bad tempers when you guys are friends and then goes sleep with some girl, imagain if you got in a relationship. it could become physical, then he'd always be cheating on you. PLEASE for your sake only stay friends, trust me.

Answer 9

I'm guessing no one answered you because this is a really complicated question, there can be a huge number of outcomes...

Honestly, you should just talk to him about it and apologize for the argument and everything, maybe he'll cool off. Then you really should just talk to him about your relationship, tell him how you feel.

Answer 10

He's not really in love with you.  He wants to pump you.    

Answer 11

he's a jerk.  it was wrong.

Answer 12

I think that he does love you but he was just mad and you should give him another chance because it was his temper doing the actions

Answer 13

Well..

If he loved you i would say he wouldnt be doing sexual activities with other girls but then again he's not ur boyfriend.. and even if he is mad that shouldnt have been an excuse to sleep with some girl if he was your bf. I think you feel more sadder then he does trust me.