What do I do about my 17 year old niece who is disrespectful to me?

Question

Her parents have allowed her to be disrespectful to them. Now she has been smart mouthing me and then turns around and lies to her mother (my sister) about what happened and her mother blames me. She was disrespectful to me in front of her mother and her mother did nothing about it. When I asked her mother why she allowed her to talk to me like that, she replied, "I don't need this right now." Her mother has been going through treatment for breast cancer so I think she feels that she has a free ticket to stop parenting right now because of it so her daughter has been getting worse. Any help would be appreciated as it is causing some real tension between us. I have tried not to say much because of the circumstances but it is getting worse and harder to put up with.

Answer 1

Tell her (in front of your sister) that you just want to be there for her and your sister, you know it's a tough time and you just want to give your love and support, but if you're not wanted, you'll just go.  Then do and see what happens.

It's hard, but you will know, one way or the other, where you stand.

Answer 2

It is a difficult situation.  Perhaps you should sit down and have a heart to heart with your niece.  lay it out that you love her and want to be there for her as she is going through this difficult time in life with her mother, but if she continues acting this way to you, that you will leave her life.  Make sure that you are doing this on a one-on-one situation.  Don't leave room for her to just dismiss you and walk away.  Be sitting down eating at a restaurant, or something like this, where she doesn't have somewhere to run.  Hopefully this helps.  Good luck with your niece and your sister's health.  

Answer 3

she's 17 there isn't a d**n thing you or her mother could do about her behavior. hate  to tell you that. in less than a year she'll be of age and she knows it. You have a choice, not a good one but a choice non the less you can treat her like a child in need of a spanking which is what sounds like you want her mother to do and through a fit at your sister for her behavior, and complain about her lying, or you can sit down your neice and your sister and say , here's the deal you want to be an adult, you want to be respected ok, hrere is what needs to be done around here, your mother is sick, start pulling you weight or pull it alone, tell her if she doesn't shape up you're going to leave her to take care of your sister alone. i know you think you could never leave that kid to do anything alone, but trust me, at seventeen i had graduated high school had a full time job and was living alone by choice. because it was cheaper for me to move out than to stay with my mother. now me and my mother have a good relationship we're closer than most mothers and daughters ever get, because when our life got tough the way your sisters is now, i stepped up because i had to. your neice is fully capable of doing the same. just don't expect anyone to be able to force her to act respectful till she learns for her self what it means to have respect and be respected for taking care of yourself.

Answer 4

next time she does it kick her out your house, if ur not at ur house, stick ur finger in her face and say "im not ur mother, and u will not treat me no any kinda way" she talk back, slapp the mess out of her

Answer 5

So stay away from her...she is your neice, not your daughter...

Answer 6

you tell her that it not going to take this bs give her the biggest guilt trip ever! You have to lay down the law! If worse comes to worst blackmail dig up some dirt. Tell ur sister you've have had it! Let's just say if a embarrasing picture comes along myspace! U rip that teen a new one play her game :) so evil lol! Good luck:)  

Answer 7

Stay away from her  

Answer 8

if your sis isnt going to take some initiative, then you should.  i know i wouldnt let a 17 yr old girl smart off to me.  you are her aunt and you can yell at her if you want too.  Let her know that it is not acceptalbe to speak to you disrespectfuly.

Answer 9

One time when shes over if she pulls that get your hairbrush and make sure she doesnt sit for a few days.

Answer 10

the fact is shes nearly and adult so you have to treat her as such , what would you do if another adult was talking down to you like that? itf it was me i would ask her who she thinks shes talking too.

Answer 11

LET HER KNOW WHO IS BOSS AND SHE WILL NOT TREAT YOU WITH DISRESPECT.  Offer some sort of small reward to her if she starts treating you better.

a book, some candy, going to the movies with you or out for a sodea, ice cream, burger.

bring her small inexpensive treats and do not tell her you have them btu every so often if she acts polite and respectful tell her you have something for her and give her something.. Sya I really wanted to get ya something and hand her whatever this inexpensive gift is.

Maybe her parents are not as good to her as they appear, who knows.