What do I do about my family ?

Question

My mom recently passed away and I have 2 sisters one older and one younger.. my older sister is one of those people that ALWAYS has to be on the pedistal .. well she is also very untrustworthy and has gotten her husband and herself in serious financial trouble and has stolen or lied for money to other family members to hide her spending habits. Neither of my sisters have ever had the relationship that my mom and I had.. Long story short: older sister forced by intimidation her role as personal rep.. I fought it but lil sis took to the intimidation and gave in.. SO my older sister has thrown out everything and sold many things.. my lil sis lives out of town and because my older sister had done so many things against legal advice she is harrasing me and making up lies to my little sister making it look as though the attorney is wrong and she is right .. I can' t stand to talk to either one of them right now and just seeing my older sister's email address come to me gives me anxiety attacks..

What can I do to work through this? I would love to just have my older sister disappear off the planet .. even though this would do the world a favor I know can't be done so logically how do I deal?

I have been just avoiding the calls and blocked the emails and it has been helping but now they are showing up at my work ( lil sis in town for estate sale) .

Answer 1

unfortunately, you are not going to be able to change the sister.  the only thing that you can change is how you react to her.  i would attempt to kill her with kindness.  don't let her know that her behavior is bothering you.  if she isn't getting a payoff by her torment, she will eventually get bored and stop.  plus, do you both want to have a feud for all of your lives?  it isn't worth it.  you will both die one day and you don't want to have your lack of a relationship with her to be one of the things that you regret dearly.  i would invite her over, and have a long long chat with her.  get your grievances out on the table and maybe the healing can begin.  

also, the situation with your mom's estate is one of the big reasons that money and family don't mix.  it's a horrible combo and nothing brings out the devil in people like the reading of a will.  hopefully things work out for you all though, and sorry for your loss :)