What do I do about my sister's boyfriend!!

Question

My sister who is 20 years old, and still very much like a little kid, wants to marry her first boyfriend. The guy is a huge mooch and is totally disrespectful of my family. He also controls what she does whether it's what she wears or what she says! She's in this little world that he's the perfect guy and she doesn't see what he's doing to her. My mom is all for them getting married.. which confuses me. I don't know what to do about this whole thing! She's never had to work for anything in her life and now she thinks that she should get married? I've tried to talk to her about him but he's pretty much brainwashed her.

And I know the whole "it's her business" thing, but I know my sis more than anyone else and she's let herself be turned into a puppet.

Answer 1

Ok, people who marry their 1st love usually stay married, the longest. If he is also young, that would also explain his behavior. See, once ya play the field, ya know there is soo much more out there,that ya might not ever find "the one"... you'll play til it's too late, and the good ones are gone. If they both think  he's the/she's the "one", let them be. It is not you or your feelings that are in this relationship. If he is abusive, well, that is where you draw the line... then take her out somewhere where there are sooo many guys, like dancing, that she has to have an above average time, and the guys will all be wanting to meet her. Then she will have an idea of what else might be waiting just around the corner.  

Answer 2

Your mom just wants your sister out of the house, hence the blinders. You might want to spell things out for her... lest your mom wind up with your sister coming back to live with her after several years of abuse plus a couple of kids. Time to take a good, long hard look at things.

Your sister is looking to learn things the hard way... about all you can do is take your sister out to a nice little cafe for lunch and a discussion... what you are observing, and some strategies for her to safeguard herself. Spell it all out... the guy has all the earmarks of an abuser. It always starts with the control and then it moves into separating her from all of her support base (job, friends, family, church), followed by escalating abuse on all levels... financial, emotional, verbal and physical abuse... and it keeps amplifying with each instance.

She really should consider keeping her bank account separate from his, and her own credit rating. She WILL need emergency money. She will also need to look at who is actually paying the bills.

This is one situation where I really would suggest that she moves in and lives with the twit while being very careful about using birth control. A couple of years of abuse ought to wake her up.

All you can do is keep the mooch off your doorstep, and try to stay open for your sister.

Answer 3

let her get **** with her boyfriend...........

Answer 4

Legally your sister is an adult and you have to let her make her own decision.  You can tell her how you feel about this guy and what she's like with him but then you have to let her make her own decision.  Believe me, I know it's hard.  I had to watch my sister make the same kind of mistake with her first husband and then rush into a relationship with her 2nd.  So I know from experience that sometimes telling someone so "in love" that their man isn't right for them doesn't help.  All you can do is be there for her to help he pick up the pieces.

Answer 5

call mtv and get parental control.... :) it might work and you'll b on ty sounds like something they might take up  

Answer 6

let your sister make her own decisions! you have your own life try living it!

Answer 7

Ask her to come over. Invite friends...explain ahead of time about her decision & what has been going on.

Ask them all to play a game of charades.

Act out the way that she is treated.

Let her see the reactions of others.

If she blows up...perhaps the friends can help you discuss this with her. If she leaves...you have neither lost nor gained anything.

Best wishes

Answer 8

You're going to feel protective over her because she is your sister, so you might possibly be overexaggerating things. And it's her decision, so if she's making a bad one, she'll figure it out eventually. Just be supportive so she knows who to come to when he breaks her heart.

Answer 9

sorry to tell ya, she is 20 and she will get married to this deada$$ weather you like it or not.

she is evidently one of those people that has to learn everything the hard way.