What do I do about my son that is constantly lying?

Question

My eldest son is almost 9 years old.

Some background: He had a lot of trouble at school, we found out that a teacher had been hitting him etc. We took him out of school, and he's been out of school for over half a year. He has trouble with his temper (unlike his other siblings), he is very intelligent (maybe even a genius), but this thing with the constant lying is really out of control, I don't know what to do! We explained to him many times, punished etc. yet he keeps lying, the scary thing is, that he lies about stuff without even batting an eye, or looking you straight in the eye. I don't know what to do. I was thinking of therapy, but I wouldn't know where to start, any suggestions or advice on what I can do?

Answer 1

therapy might be a good idea if he was hit by a teacher.  Instead of punishing him when he lies, just call him on it and don't give him attention for it.

Answer 2

A compulsive liar will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. Again, everyone lies from time to time (see, when lovers lie), but for a compulsive liar, telling lies is routine. It becomes a habit - a way of life.

Simply put, for a compulsive liar, lying becomes second nature.

Not only do compulsive liars bend the truth about issues large and small, they take comfort in it. Lying feels right to a compulsive liar. Telling the truth, on the other hand, is difficult and uncomfortable.

And like any behavior which provides comfort and an escape from discomfort (i.e., alcohol, drugs, s*x), lying can become addictive and hard to stop. For the compulsive liar, lying feels safe and this fuels the desire to lie even more.

Making matters even more complicated, compulsive lying is often a symptom of a much larger personality disorder, which only makes the problem more difficult to resolve (see, narcissistic personality disorder and borderline personality disorder).

Compulsive lying can be dealt with through counseling or therapy. But, like any addictive behavior (and/or personality disorder), getting someone to admit they have a problem with lying is the difficult part. Sadly enough, getting someone to recognize that he or she has a problem usually requires hitting rock bottom first.

If this sounds like your son he needs therapy.

Answer 3

This can be something developmental as well. Therapy and a good psychological evaluation would be best. It is serving some purpose for him If someone can figure out what he gets from it, it can then be replaced with something else.

Answer 4

Look in the yellow pages of your phone book and find a therapist who specializes in young children. Get him there post haste.

My youngest daughter was a constant liar all through school--from first grade through twelfth. I didn't believe she was a liar, her father knew she was. Only after she graduated from highschool did I begin to realize she was a sociopathic liar.  She is now 40, and she can look you right in the eye and tell you a lie and you will believe her.

Either get help now or just live with the knowledge that you can never believe anything your son says.

Answer 5

He is a child that is what they do.  You should watch his mouth out with soap.

Answer 6

I don't know if you watch Run's house on MTV. Russy - their son would enjoy hiding siblings and parents stuff and lied about it. He would hid it for days! Finally Rev. Run had it and he hid the video camera in his son's room and caught him in the act! Then he called a family meeting and watched it together in their theater room. He was embarrassed for sure. Maybe you need to catch him with PROOFS and embarrassed the heck out of him.

To be honest counseling might be best. Those pros will be able to give you great advice on how to overcome that.

Answer 7

That makes me wounder what he is lying about,if he is lying all time even when he ha done nothing wrong,I would have him go to therapy.Although,He might not open up to a therapist considering he most likely has some serious issues with trusting authority figures.So don't be surprised if it takes him some time to feel safe.