What do I do about the judgemental chinese students who frequent my dorm?

Question

I just entered college a few days ago. So far, everything is going pretty well, but the chinese international students are making me feel extremely uncomfortable. I have several physical problems that make me stand out. Nearly all of the American students I've talked to so far are friendly. However, I feel like I am being judged, berated, and talked about by most of the chinese students every time I pass them. Unfortunately, a chinese girl lives across the hall from me and a group of her male friends stay in her room late into the night (And I live in a girl's dorm). I'm afraid to leave my room and I always close and lock my door during the evening. I know the chinese people have a negative view of people with disabilities, but I've earned my spot in the competitive college I'm attending, and I deserve to feel safe in (what is now, essentially) my home. What should I do?

Answer 1

Dorm life is difficult no matter if you have a disability or not. However, if you don't feel safe, it's important that you speak with the Housing Office about it. Be very detailed in precisely WHY you don't feel safe - not "I'm uncomfortable" that's not enough.

Have you been threatened or been touched in any way? Have you been taunted or tormented - like your dorm room has been ransacked or you've been blocked from using the elevator or bathrooms? Those are the things you will need to describe - not "she looked at me funny," or "they talk about me."

Seriously, if all you feel is "uncomfortable," because "they talk about you," you are just going to have to grow a skin and deal with it on your own level. However, if you have received threats or have been accosted etc. - then campus security and housing need to know about it.

OK. I would also go to the International Students office and explain that you've been ridiculed or whatever by the Chinese nationals and would appreciate it if they would remedy the situation by perhaps scheduling a meeting between you and the other students as a way of enlightening them to the American way of thinking about people with disabilities. They are, after all, no longer in China - and they need to learn that their attitudes don't wash here.

Indeed, let's turn this negative into a positive. Here's a chance to work with the International Students office in developing a sensitivity training package for incoming Internationals. This is important because if these students expect to function in the global socio-economic world in which we live, they are gonig to be forced to deal with a variety of people - many like you - with a disability. They need to learn in no uncertain terms that ugliness and attitude towards someone in a wheelchair or who is missing a limb or who is blind etc.doesn't wash. Indeed, that person just may just be the president of their biggest customer - so it's really in their best interest to learn to accept our differences. Oh and yeah, that's one of the reasons why they're here - to learn not only their subject matter - but to learn about other kinds of people out there - in case they're not aware of that..... This is not to mention that they are a single accident away from being "disabled."

Once again - turn to the International Students office to see how you can help them educate people about each other. Turn this into a positive.

I know it's really hard to be in college and be "different." I'm in your shoes in a way - I"m 50 years old and a full-time student. I could be my classmates' MOTHER for heaven's sake. So yeah, I stand out.

Bonus - you might end up with some really great friends out of this, so please keep an open mind - and grow a thick skin.

Answer 2

Where did you get the idea that Chinese people have a negative view of people with disabilities..I never heard that...

What did they say or do to you to make you feel this way...Maybe your being a bit paranoid,and maybe you have a negative view of Chinese people...    

Answer 3

Talk to the dorm house manager(s) if you are feeling unsafe.

Answer 4

Boys in a girls' dorm late into the night sounds like a very valid complaint to bring to your "dorm sister," the older student who is there to assist new students in the dorm. She'll know how to handle it, as late-night visits from boys to a girls' dorm (and vice versa, though boys report it less) are common, and is often against the rules (there's usually a cut-off time.  This problem has noting to do with the race/nationality of the students.

If certain students are making you uncomfortable, again, this is someting to bring up with your dorm sister. She's there to help make things as smooth and comfortable as possible, and if you're uncomfortable leaving your room, that's definitely a big issue. Don't bring up nationality/race; it'll just make things look bad for you. Just say that you feel uncmfortable around so-and-so and would like to talk to that person with a mediator (someone who is there to listen and make sure arguments don't elevate to fighting).

Who knows, they may not be talking about you...of course, they could be. Maybe you're just being overly sensitive, or maybe they are just being overly curious. Just talk to them...you could become best of friends!

Answer 5

Not being awful , but refuse to feel like an alien in your own country. Hold your head up high. In western countries we don't breed perfection like they do.

Answer 6

i dont understand what your trying to say? sorry, can you be specific?  

Answer 7

I've been living in this building for over a year now.  I'm a blind quadriplegic and I have the same problem!  I'm the type of person who will give everyone a chance before forming an opinion on them and don't tend to group people into the same catagory, but it's ahrd to in this case.

Since moving here almost everyone offers to hold doors for me, or holds the elevator for me etc.  I say "hi" and they usually don't have any problems with me.

There is a lot of chinese people living here though.  I noticed at first that whenever I was at the swimming pool they would be there in a huge group at certain times.  They started making other peoiple leave the hot tub, and then forcing them to leave the pool by swimming really close and standing at the ends of the pool so there's no way to do laps while swimming.  A lot of people have complained about this.

I got a really threatening letter from one of the guys that lives above me.  They will push ahead of me and stand in the doorway of the elevator even if they are alone so I cant use it, and I've even had them get off the elevator so they didn't have to share it with me and just act in generally rude ways.  They don't do this to the other people that are around at the same time.  There is one chinese girl who works at the spa that says hi whenever I pass though, but she cut my hair and we started talking.

If you feel really uncomfortable try talking to your RA or someone who takes care of your dorm about it.  Also just try not to act too uncomfortable around them and show them that you are no different than anyone else is.  You have ust as much right as anyone else does to be there.  Just remember that.  And remember that even if they are in a group they are no better than you are.  It might take awhile to prove that you are not "different" to them, but hopefully they will start seeing you as an equal person like you are.  They have a totally different coulture and it will take awhile before they realize that they are living in another country where things are different and they have to get use to that.

Good luck!  I hope you have as great a time in college as I did while in University!  Things might also get better once you make some new friends and they start hanging out in your room too.  Just a thought.

Answer 8

Dorm life is tough no matter what. I went to college with two round eyes, two good legs, no scars, no impediments - and guess what? Dorm life was tough. In-crowds, cliques, losers, popular girls, goats.

Sorry, but your disability doesn't exempt you from the nastiness inherent in a college dormitory. If you have a problem with boys on a girls' hall, report it. If your feelings are hurt because your hallmates tease you, seek counseling. If you've got a problem with Chinese people, you're a racist.

Answer 9

Don't you have older adults who live in your dorm who act as house managers? This is part of the reason they exist. Sounds as if they need sensitivity training at your dorm for international students. Your neighbor has some ability to control the behavior of her guests.  Have you talked to her about how these visitors make you feel? Maybe you could get your other neighbors help you feel safe.

It is not racist to notice a pattern. China has very different attitudes toward disability. When I worked with international students when I was in grad school - there was a lot of questions about my disability and my son's. If these students were from India, Pakistan, or Korea it would not have surprised me. Culturally the US's acceptance of disability is something many international students are unprepared for when they first arrive here.

You are absolutely right - no one should be made to feel unsafe in their own home.

Answer 10

I have asian family members and I understand what you mean. GO talk to the head of the dorm. start leaving educational rights and the like under thier doors. my ex in laws from SE asia  still deny thier own mentally ill daughter and my own autistic child thier flesh and blood.

inform, educate and see if the dorm can have a disability awareness day. go to www.disabilityinfo,.gov and remind yourself you are in the USA and were given that legal right. try not to                let thier stares bother you othwerise you let them win. be yourself and ignore them.  

Answer 11

I know someone who disabled and a daughter of asian parent. She felt being mistreated because of her disability.

It China's bad cultural, I wished China would stop being bad and return back to their own ancestor.

I think China's ancestor are very upset at the decendent's doing.

By not being viewed as racist, I have to use solution to solve Chinese's problems.

Like.... no Chinese proverbs that talk about faking item or singer?

What wrong with the chinese people?!?