What do I do if my family does not respect me?

Question

My family doesn't respect me at all. I have 5 other siblings, and they are all jealous of eachother. I used to a really bad kid: I got in trouble with juvenile stuff, got kicked out of the dorm rooms, and didn't care about my family. But ever since I met my girlfriend, she's taguht me to take life more seriously, and I've been making many improvements in my life. There is no reason for my family to give me c**p because I goto college, have a part-time job, and an amazing girlfriend. I'm trying to help each of my family members and encourage each of them with their individual goals. I'm trying to improve my family's bond, and trying to help them, but they're not doing the same to me. Everything is going good for me, but I just can't stand my family giving me c**p. Its like my family still thinks of me as a reckless bad juvenile kid, and they still treat me like one. They talk to me as if I'm an idiot, they talk c**p about me behind my back, they talk about every little thing I do in my life, they discourage me from doing things.. My dad makes up lies and talks c**p about me to all my siblings. I think they are all just jealous of the improvements I've made in my life, and they don't want to help me at all. It drives me crazy because I try my absolute best to help them individually and I feel like a fool when they never help me back. They make me feel like an idiot, after all the improvements I've made. I want my family to be a place where all my family members can go if they need help or advice, and they don't help me at all. I know I can't change the way they are... so what do I do???

Answer 1

what I have learnt about in my life is that you can Stop trying to change the family members. There are all kinds of things in this world as well as all kinds of people and that said, family members apply too.

I was tried and tested by God too, with a mother that not even an orphan will want to have.

And my dad and sis are not excellent either.

I looked into people's faces for approval all the time and smiled at them just for approval. I learnt it all the hard way, trial and error.

Now, I realized that it is crazy to seek approval of 6 billion people in the world. If you are a Christian (which I have now found it), pray to God as often as you can, find your place in God, not in man and woman (humans).

jealousy, lies, deceit, disappointment, abuse, pain, shame, guilt, sadness, all happen in the household where the parents put their priorities in the wrong values.

get out of it as best as you can manage, resolve that if you have a family of your own, you are gonna seek God's help, pray to God He will show you what a healthy and loving family is like, and then yes, go and build that. And don't forget to teach and share your precious trial and error life experiences and values with people who are on the way.

That's probably what you have lived all this life for.

Hope I have inspired you. Take Care, Because Jesus cares even when none does. All the best! ;-))

Answer 2

You said it "I can't change the way they are" and end that thought right there....STOP.  Your family members are behind you in setting their own goals in life and behind in whatever goals they want to accomplish for themselves.   They obviously do not want you to advance in life because they want to drag you down to their level to make themselves feel better.   This is normal behaviour for most people who have been down and out most of their lives.   You however have connected with the right people outside of your normal circle of family/friends and you have seen the other side where things can be better and you have experienced the better side, whereas your family have not and therefore can not see what you see.   Stay focused on this other side of life that you have found and don't look back.  Continue on your path of success and when they or one of them at a time reach your level of success they too will leave the rest behind.  It is hard to leave them but harder to stay focused if you don't.   Family should encourage and help each other as you do for them, but if you don't receive the same respect back, it is time to move on with your new life and remember to never treat your future children the way your family treat you - that is the ultimate success if you can do that then you have learned true success.   Keep up the good work - onward and upwards.....and repeat after me "I can't change the way they are" and STOP right there.