What do I do with a boy obsessed daughter?

Question

My daughter is 12 and going into 7th grade. Our rule is that she cant' date until she's 16. BUT, she looks older and attracts older boys everywhere we go--the mall, the pool, the baseball game--she is hit on by 9th graders, and she LOVES it. She gets guys numbers everywhere we go.

What use is it not allowing her to date when everywhere she goes she's meeting boys anyway--and boys that are much older than her. And she's coy about telling them she's 12 for fear of scaring them off...

Answer 1

treat her like the child she is, dont let her go anywhere without you, when you see her hitting on a boy go up to her and introduce yourself,

say "hi Im ___'s mom. Isnt she the most beautiful 12 year old you ahve ever met?" after you doing that a few times shell get the hint. that and have a talk with her about how wrong it is and that she needs to slow down. tell her that she is going to wind up getting hurt. and as her mom you dont want to see that happen.

if you allow her to date this early you are looking at raising aa baby in the near future becasue she wont be able to do it.

also she most likely will get stds and such.

Answer 2

I would stand by your rule. If all those boys knew how old she really was I doubt they would be tempted to go on a date with her. She is still very young and immature. Many girls love the attention from boys but boys in the 9th grade are probably thinking of one thing. I looked older than I was but my parents kept there rule firm and I am greatful they did. You never know what kind of mess she could get into if you let your rule go to the wayside.

Answer 3

Stay strong.

The rule is a good one, and she will kick, scream, cry, hate you, the whole 9 yards but DO.NOT.CAVE.

Now would also be a great time to have the 'this is what unwanted pregnancy will do to your life' talk. Don't put it off until it's too late.

Answer 4

Ground her till she's 18

Answer 5

I have the same issue. My daughter is 12 and looks older. You might really want to have a talk to see where she stands on the boy thing. My daughter had guy friends and gets boys' numbers, but only as friends. she knows she's too young to date. While she does think boys are cute, she thinks kissing them is gross. and you don't really have to have a "talk". I just chat with my daughter about random stuff while putting away dishes or making fun of her obsession over the Jonas Brothers...lol you just have to find out what her intentions are with them. my daughter gets hit on at Walmart by older guys and I'm like "HELLO!!! she's 12 thank you. take your p*****n zits and get the h**l away from her!"  if she won't scare them off when you go somewhere, YOU can! :)

Answer 6

That's exactly WHY you need to keep your rules in place.  If you lift the restriction she's going to get tons of dates, and then where will you be?  You're the parent and it's up to you to make decisions for her that she's not mature enough to handle.  If you allow her to date you'll make it easy for her and she could end up in a situation that she's too young for.

Answer 7

well, in not letting her date she cannot get serious with them, this happens 2 me all of the time,my parents were also conserned.  but i not aloud 2 date either , its normal 2 b obsessed with guys at that age, it get worse tho, trust me, iim 14, and i luv guys they r my best pals, i just asume hang wit them instead of girls, they r much more chilled, and its also partly bcuz she likes the attention,and comliments, i wouldn't worry, just make sure that she's open with u, and u kno wut is gowing on in her life, and if u decide 2 let her date, it would b a good rule 2 not let her go unless its a double date, this way nothing could ever happen, no good-night kiss even, that would b the way 2 go. guys her age r still shy, they won't like making a move even if its holding her hand, unless they r by themselves.

Answer 8

Just be straightforward with her. Explain to her about respecting herself and her body.

There's a chance she might try to act out if you have her on too tight of a leash, so maybe you cab tell her she can have a boy over to the house when she's 13, but she can't go anywhere with him, or they can go places if there's adult supervision.

Make a rule about the age of boy she's allowed to give her number to. If she has a cell phone, it might be hard to enforce the rule, though.

Make sure she has other interests (get involved with the church, volunteering at an animal shelter, sports, or something) so that she has other things to occupy her mind.

PS... I think all girls are boy crazy at that age. it's your job to make sure she knows where the boundaries lie.

Answer 9

start simple, if she wants to date the only date she will have is in the living room with you and him watching a movie and he must be gone by 8pm.  That way you can build trust with her and get to know him in the process.

Answer 10

i have done the 13 year old "scare fest" 6 times. the rules are the best thing you can keep. my daughters were not aloud to date until thay were 13. but that also meant one of their sisters were with them at all times. and anyone that has more than one daughter knows that they love to tell on each other at that age. anyone my girls date has to come to the house and i meet them. they have to hang out at my house. not where i can't see them at someone elses house.  i also have raised the last two on my own. so hold your ground and keep your rules. remember that it is better to have a mad teenager than a pregnant one.

Answer 11

well... don't take the dating age away because you don't want her to think you are lenient.

the way she dresses has something to do with it.. don't let her wear tight tight shirts. or bikini's at the pool...

talk to her about the way she acts

don't let her put too much makeup on... your the parent so make the rules... or none at all

if she fails to see where you come from and they still hit on her then embarrass her by all means... you see it happen go grab her hand and say come this way honey.. or call her name in an embarrassing way... pull her hand and say 'she's 12'

she will get the point... go for the embarrassing stuff if all else fails

Answer 12

Let her date. Shes 12, and starting to get those hormones. Just make sure shes dating people similar in age, and people you approve of. As long as you make it clear to her that you want her to be open to you about her dating, it should be fine.

Answer 13

You need to sit her down and have a heart-to-heart and have these OFTEN. What a girl needs at this young age is stability, someone to run to, and help. Young teens and pre-teens are like young seedlings, they want to grow on their own but they still need shelter from their mother (or father) tree. You need to discuss with her what boys REALLY want at that age and what they really think about --- which is s*x, s*x, s*x. Tell her that older boys do not want to just give her attention or buy her things without something in return.

Talk to her about teen pregnancy, STDs, her reputation, and waiting for the right man.

Answer 14

tell his parents or just keep eye on it ?