What do I do with a friend who is delusional and crazy bridezilla? I need advice to get through this wedding!?

Question

I'm a Bridesmaid in her wedding in Nov. She has not kept me in the loop as far as her wedding, and when I mention it she goes crazy and goes on that I'm not a good friend & I don't care about her wedding which is not true. I paid and extra $30 to have my dress made faster b/c in her mind I was late ordering my dress, while another bridesmaid ordered hers just 3 days before, but that was OK.

My daughter is her Flower Girl & is friends with her fiance's daughter, Bridezilla asked me if my daughter could spend the night last night & I asked my daughter if she wanted to, & she said no, I told zilla and she went off about how my child is a brat & that since she doesn't have time 4 her friend maybe she won't have time for her wedding either. She went off on me b/c I am going out of town Labor Day wkend, and her mom is giving her a bridal shower then. I had no idea.I understand she is stressed but She's making me crazy, I can't drop out of the wedding, she surprisingly has no1 else to do it

Answer 1

I would talk with her and tell her that her actions are intolerable, and I would drop out of the wedding. Let one of the other bridesmaids assist her. She is treating you like c**p, but worse yet, she spoke unkindly of your daughter. Involving my daughter would be the end of the line for me. To say your daughter is a brat, is insulting you as a mother. She sounds like the kind of person who is miserable, and will make everyone around her miserable. Either that or she is Bipolar.

Answer 2

Wow Bridezilla needs to chill out! She must be really stressed with things but it's no excuse for her behavior. You ordered your dress on time and you will get it in plenty of time. As for your daughter, she decided she didn't want to spend one night there and she flips out and basically threatens her out of the wedding? I say talk to her and tell her you don't take kindly to threats and will not tolerate her rude and obnoxious behavior. If she keeps up her antics, take yourself out of the bridal party and your daughter as well. Your daugher will get over it and you can plan a special day for the two of you on the wedding day.

Second, Mom plans the shower for Labor Day weekend??? Is she out of her mind? Lots of people make plans for that time way in advance, espcially those with children. It's not your fault that you can't make it. Send a gift and card with your regrets that you can't be there. I bet you are not the only one not attending the shower. Is she going off on all of them too??

Answer 3

Nod & smile a lot. ... It'll soon be over.

You didn't have to accept her 'going off` on your kid though,

that was 'over the line'.

Answer 4

I think you need to have a frank conversation with her about her expectations:

"Sally, I am so honored to be your bridesmaid and I want to be able to help you as best as I can. I'd appreciate it if you could take a few minutes now and outline what you need me to do to prepare for the wedding, so that we're both clear. I know your wedding is a big deal, but you have to remember that I have family obligations too. We need to meet each other halfway."

Once that's concluded, you need to talk about your daughter:

"Suzie is really excited to be in your wedding, but if you continue to say unkind and unreasonable things about her, she will not be participating. As her mother, I simply cannot let her be treated like that."

And then stand by what you say. Negotiate your responsibilities so that the two of you agree on how much and what you are expected to do. If she gets upset later, remind her of the conversation and that your other obligations don't stop just because she's getting married. And don't hesitate to take your daughter out of the wedding if Bridezilla continues to be awful to her - that's completely unacceptable and out of line. Your first priority, I'm sure, is your child.

Answer 5

I would sit her down and explain how you feel.  I don't think that being a bride constitutes any right to act like a bi***.  I've had my tantrums and my family and friends point it out to me.  I don't see anything wrong with letting her know that she's out of line.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

maybe if you did drop out, she will see how she is acting. No one should have to put up with a bridezilla this far in advance of the wedding. I can understand if it was Halloween and her freaking out but come on, that's just too much.

Answer 7

I am not sympathetic for your friend and her problems.  However, I am concerned about building up the excitement for your daughter, only for your daughter to be pulled at the last minute.  My suggestion is to talk to her and tell her that you do not take kindly to threats to your daughter, and if it happens again, your daughter will be removed from the wedding party.  I mean, how stupid was her mom to have a bridal shower on Labor Day weekend?  Her own fault.