What do I do with my ex's children?

Question

My ex fiancé has two children from his previous marriage, right now girls are 8 and 11 (we broke up last year). Their mother decided to move on with her life, got married and had another child from her second husband, and for some reason does not want to keep in touch with these girls at all, she even does not return their phone calls (that's her problem, I am not here to judge her). When my ex fiancé and I dated and later on were engaged I had good relationship with kids, they even started calling me "mommy". Later on when I broke up with him I offered to be in contact with his girls, he ignored the suggestion, and I did not want to call, it was bad enough that I told that I did not want to be part of their lives to be meddling in. He called me few days ago and told that he can't date anyone because no one is as good as me (he is quite ok professionally and physically, so it was a nice boost for my ego) and that girls still miss me and keep telling him that they want me as their mother. Ok, I do not want to get back with him, but do I need to suggest to spend some weekends with children? May be suggest to talk on the phone from time to time to talk about school, boys, etc? And at the same time should I may be let them go, they will forget me eventually since they are still very young?

Answer 1

I agree with Ms. Piggy.  

Tread lightly.  Make very sure the girls know upfront at all times that the relationship you have with them  has nothing to do with dad or anyone else.  You are offering to be their friend (with dad's approval of course).  No one can have too many real friends and it sounds as if they can really use a good one right about now.  However, be sure you are committed to this and not going to break their hearts when things get tough or you find a new man.  

Best of luck and Prayers be with you all!!!

Answer 2

Take care of them as if they were your very own. and raise them right.

Answer 3

IT sounds like they need you and if that is something you want with them. I think it would be very good for them. See if you can take them out to dinner or make them dinner and spend a couple of days a week with them.

Even when he does move on and marries there is no reason you shouldn't be premitted to continue a relationship with the girls. In their sweet little minds you are their mom, it doesn't matter who birthed them.

Answer 4

Wow that is a realy triack situation you are in.

All the VERY best, I hope it works out for you!!!!

Answer 5

No, you are wrong, they will not forget you.   It crushes me that they have been abandoned by their mother.  And now they will lose another.   If they called you mommy, that is an enormous amount of trust and heart that they gave you.   Please be very careful, let them know somehow that they are very special and loveable, because they wont be feeling that right now.    

Answer 6

I think if you dont want any thing to do with the father you should just stay out of their lifes other wise you will just confuse them all and give them false hope!

Answer 7

i think that u should spend time with them like at events and outings etc.  Maybe u guys can hang out at the zoo, movies, concerts you know fun things.  i know i really miss my nieces and nephews when i have not seen them in a while and almost die to spend time with them and it is kinda fun.  Makes my whole week.  However, I don't think that u should take care of them with the relationship being broken up.  Sorry but it is not your responsibility.  In the case of the father and mother dying i can definitely understand, but this is not the case.  Take the weight off your shoulders.  There just kids...  Its okay to spend time with them.  Don't make it complicated though.  Be clear with the father about you not wanting to get back with him.  And just tell the girls that u are not sure about daddy and leave it at that. U don't have to discuss anything with them, why?  Because they are just kids.  why complicated their lives.