What do I have to do to prove to him that we can deal with this together?

Question

My ex-boyfriend decided to break up with me because he cheated on me and he can’t be with me knowing that he’s the reason I look sad. He says that he can’t say he loves me, but he really cares and will support me. I love him so much what should I do? It’s been almost 2 months since we separated, but I wasn’t angry about the affair. He doesn’t understand this, and he can’t get past the guilt. Why is that?

Answer 1

You really need a wake-up call. He cheated on you, and then he broke up with you? Doesn’t that sound a little strange? Right now you are completely disillusioned about this relationship. Somehow you actually think it is OK that he cheated on you. You couldn’t be farther from the truth. He doesn’t love you. It is hard to hear, but it is true, he doesn’t love you. If he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated on you. You are in denial because you cannot imagine life without him. Stop fooling yourself. The sooner you realize life can and probably will go on without him, the better off you will be. So stop moping and move on with your life.

Answer 2

he messed up and thinks you dont diserve him. been there with my ex wife but she cheated

Answer 3

monogamous fidelity may only be a side effect of our puritan origins, and perhaps you are sufficiently evolved that it truly would not bother you for him to have multiple 'affairs' while otherwise engaged in a continuous relationship with him.  Only you know for sure if that's the case.

However, only he knows if he 'loves you' and that seems to be something you care about, and is outside your direct control.  He is currently on record as not loving you.  If this bothers you now, it will probably continue to bother you later.

But basically his sense of right and wrong with regards to fidelity differs from yours.  He can't understand that you feel differently about it than he does.  He would not be happy if your roles were reversed (if you cheated on him).  He would be angry.  And hence he expects you to feel angry now.  If you are truly not angry, then he is confused, and further reluctant to pursue a relationship with you, since, frankly, he probably doesn't believe you, as your attitude is too much in defiance of social norms.  This probably undermines his trust in you.