What do I have to expect?

Question

I have just been asked to fly home to be a possible bone marrow transplant to my cousin, we share blood on both sides, his dad, is my maternal uncle and his mum is my paternal aunt. I haven't had much info , I didn't even know he was sick! And we aren't close. I'm terrified and I know it sounds selfish but I really don't want to do it! What are the chances of us NOT being a match? And if I do it, what kind of a procedure am I looking at, and how long will it take and how will I feel after. I know this sounds selfish but I have a job I can't afford to lose. and it's been sprung on me so quickly I'm really worried

Can any one give me any kind of help.

Thank you

Answer 1

holy smoke sherry that is a catch 22 if ive ever heard of one, i believe whole heartedly in the life of transplant, but at YOUR option free of any pressure of any kind from anybody, NO ONE FAMILY FRIEND OR FOE should put you in that position, UNLESS and i stress that that you have informed yourself and come to YOUR own conclusion of wanting to carry through or not in testing then donating,

first off read some info from this site it gives the basic nuts and bolts of what the process is,

http://www.marrow.org/HELP/Join_the_Dono...

from that i believe you can choose to be tested privately here in america and have the result forwarded to the your cousins donor transplant center in the uk, and have it handled that way without traveling all that way and taking time off from your job to see if you are a match,

what ever you decide your conscience will be clear and your conviction in tack, a gift is just that, a gift, as always, you are one of the good ones in this life!!!

Answer 2

As a Level 6 helper, you must have helped a lot of people along the way, so here's some of that good karma coming back!

1. Organ and tissue donation should ALWAYS be a voluntary activity -- no one can force you to do it.  While I can't speak about bone marrow transplantation from first-hand experience, I can tell you that in the solid organ transplant world (kidney, liver, etc), transplant professionals will often "lie" to protect potential donors who feel pressured by family members -- they will tell the family that "so-and-so is not considered a good donor for medical reasons".  (Technically, the transplant professionals are not lying -- a good donor needs to be healthy both physically and mentally, so someone who feels coerced is not considered a good donor!)

2. Bone marrow matching is a tricky business.  Even brothers and sisters are only a match 25% of the time, so chances are, you are more likely to NOT be a match than being one.  However, this is not a guarantee, since even total strangers can be a match (although the chance is less than 1 in 10,000).

3. You said you don't feel comfortable donating, and I want to stress no one can/should make you.  But I know you enjoy helping others -- it's not easy to get up to Level 6!  Being in the business, I know how much it means to a transplant recipient when a donor comes forward, so I just want to help you understand what being a bone marrow donor may involve, and you are free to stand by your original decision after that.

4. Unlike donating a kidney or part of a liver, donating blood or bone marrow will not leave you with "a piece missing", since our body constantly make new blood and bone marrow  and recycle/get rid of "used up" ones.  For example, none of the red blood cells you have in your body right now will still be around this winter -- on average, our body turns over red blood cells every 3-4 months.  So after you donate blood (or bone marrow), you body will simply make new ones a bit faster to replace the loss.

5. You may be surprised to learn that often a bone marrow transplant doesn't need bone marrow from the donor!  What is actually needed are bone marrow cells which make new blood cells.  With a medication, doctors can actually ask your  bone marrow cells to increase their activities, during which some of your bone marrow cells will leave the bone marrow and circulate in your blood.  These bone marrow cells can then be "collected" from the blood vessels in your arm (much like a blood donation), without the need to take your bone marrow.  So being a donor can simply mean receiving a medication for a week, then getting two pokes in the arms on the day of collection.  That's it.  No surgery or anything.

6. In the unlikely event the doctors do need your bone marrow, you'll then need to undergo an outpatient procedure, where they freeze your skin and make a small hole in your hip bone to collect a small amount of liquid bone marrow.  (They don't take any solid substance, and definitely not removing any bones!)

7. If money or insurance is a concern, it may not need to be.    I don't know where you live, but almost everywhere the medical expenses related to organ and tissue donation are covered by the recipient's insurance.  Other than travelling to the collection hospital, you will almost need no time away from work: one day with the arm collection method, and a few days (usually less than a week) with the hip bone collection method.

Like I said, you are still free to stand by your original decision, but I just want to you have all the information, so that you don't miss out on an opportunity to REALLY help somebody -- potentially saving his life!

If what I said made you waver a bit, there are many sites which will give you more information on becoming a bone marrow donor.  Or talk to a volunteer at:

1 (800) MARROW2 (1-800-627-7692) in the US

1 888 2 DONATE (1-888-236-6283) in Canada

Hope this helps!