What do I respond to Senior Citizens who say this??

Question

I live in a building with senior citizens, see lots of patients who are senior citizens, and have four almost 80-year-old grandparents. Often, in casual conversation with them, when I mention something that will happen (or I hope will happen) in the near future, someone will reply with "If I live that long," or "I'll probably be dead by then." They often say this even when I mention something only a few weeks or months away!

I find this terribly awkward...I don't know anything about their health so I don't feel comfortable saying "Of course you'll be alive then!" But I really have no idea what else to respond with that is tasteful, reassuring and realistic. This makes me terribly uncomfortable. Any ideas??

Answer 1

I would just say something cheerful...with a smile...like, "Well I certainly hope you will be," to the "I'll probably be dead by then."  And to the other one, something like "Well, I certainly hope that's not the case!"  I don't  really think elderly people mean to sound so morose, and death is something that probably is on their minds more so than it is for younger people.  I had a former boss who used to say, "Well, we're all going down that same one-way street."  That might be a good response as well.

Answer 2

say "neither might I but while im here im going to keep planning for tomorrow and you should too.  you should be dying to live not living to die!!"

Answer 3

That's a good question. My true opinion is: Your right! Don't patronize them by saying that's not true. They have been around for quite a while. So, I really think you should be honest with them. Ask them, "do you really think that?" Ask them about their health. In most cases their children can't bring themselves to talk about it with them. Maybe you should give them the opportunity to talk about their fears or ease with the possibility of soon passing. Good luck.

Answer 4

You could say, Don't even talk like that I can't even think about losing you.

Answer 5

Most of the responses are 'right on.'

Seniors, especially those in their 80s,  may feel that their "time is near."  Health problems and living to see family and friends die and buried may precipitate the remarks you note in your comments.

Some responses may be "Live it one day at a time and see what the future brings."

or, "I hope you will be around to see this.  It won't be the same without you."

I hope these replies help.

Answer 6

When they make comments like that, they just need a little encouragement to keep going. Sometimes they're looking for a reason, sometimes they're just acknowledging that they're older and life is very uncertain. It's normal.

Just smile and say, "Of course you'll be alive... you wouldn't want to miss  X event!"  It may seem odd, but try it... it'll make their day.

Hope this helps!

Answer 7

You should say, "you and me both buddy!" and smile. Or say nothing at all and just bear with it cuz all our days are numbered.

Answer 8

Say, "You'd better be alive...I wouldn't want you to miss it."

or..."You're not going anywhere, Mister/Missy."

Answer 9

my fiance's grandmother always says, our 2 yr old daughter wont remember her... and she is only 63.. she's in great health and it makes me so mad when she says that stuff.. you never know when your time will come, i could go before she does, ya know... i just always say, oh hush!! you'll be around or you better not go anywhere any time soon! it makes me feel awkward too.. lol.... let's just remember that when we get that old (i hope we will) that we never mention that we won't be AROUND.. =) and thanks for your answer about my M.O.H....

Answer 10

just laugh and say "me too" - we are all mortal

Answer 11

They say stuff like that because death is on their minds and they want reassurance, like a fat girl on a diet wants reassurance she is losing weight.

Answer 12

hey I'm younger than them & I say things like that

you just don;t know when your gonna be here today or gone tomorrow

just smile at them, then carry on with the conversation...

Answer 13

Saying those sorts of things

seems to be quite common among older

people, especially as they approach

their late 70's and early 80's.

Most likely it's merely their way

of dealing with the impending approach

of the end of life.

I would most likely ask them

why they feel as they do-

and then take a cue from their reply,

as to the type of response you should make.

Just be sure to remind them of all of

the good they have done,

and of the happy times that you

and other family members have

spent with them.