What do I teach my child to do when a toy is taken from her?

Question

So say my 11 month old is playing and another child takes a toy away from her. Do I teach her to take her toy back? But if I do that, am I teaching her to just grab and be aggressive? Or do I teach her to just find another toy and not worry about it? I don't want her to be a picked on though because she lets everyone take her toys. How do you handle this situation?

Answer 1

Kids this age don't remember much.  They can usually be redirected.  No, it's not ok to grab toys on either kid's behalf.  I would ask the other kid, nicely, if they could give it back to the baby.  If that doesn't work and your girl doesn't seem too upset, then yes you can redirect/get her another toy.

If she's inconsolable, I'd tell the adult of the other child, if absolutely necessary, about the grabbing incident.  Keeping it as light-hearted as possible, lots of smiles.

Answer 2

At 11 months I would say to her "Oh, that was nice of you to share the toy with Joey...why not play with this toy?"

If she was much older (2 or 3) I would teach her to say, "I'm sorry, I was playing with that. I will let you play with it next."

If she was 8... I would teach her to take the toy back, give a glaring look with a ... "a simple please would have gotten you the toy."

If she is 43... I would teach her... "hey! that "toy" is my husband and unless you want the stinky socks, dirty underwear and snoring to go with him.. I suggest you move your little tramp butt down the street!"

less than a year tho? they take toys..they get toys taken..she will learn. Just make sure that she doesn't hit to respond to the bully that took the toy and hopefully the other mother is paying attention and will reprimand her own child.

good luck mom!

Answer 3

My daughter is 3 and this still happens to her, when it does, I just pretend that both kids are mine and I talk to the other child about how my daughter was playing with that toy and that it isn't nice to take things away.  I then tell my daughter that 'a friend has come to play and it's time to find something to give to the friend because in our family we share.'

She usually gives an equivalent toy to the child and it works out.

I started this when she was about 10 months old so sometimes she basically says stuff like that to the child taking stuff away from her. Sometimes I still need to intervene but usually it's the older kids that give her problems.

Answer 4

Well you should teach her to get you or another adult.  Children do not understand how to reason.  They also do not understand sharing until the age of 4.  God Bless

Answer 5

I've worked with toddlers in daycares and now in my home daycare.  Here is what I do, and it works (even with really young kids!).  If a kid goes after a toy in another kid's hand, i say, no, that is in his/her hands right now.  (there is usually a yell that gets my attention).  If they actually take it away, I say give it back to them, that was in their hands.  If they don't do it on their own, i remove the toy and give it back.  If the child sits there and really wants the toy, i say, _________ (name of child holding toy), do you want to give ________(child that wants toy) the toy to play with.  If they do give it over, I praise them, I say wow, that is so nice of you.  If they do not want to give up the toy, I just say, okay, let's find another toy for you to play with (the one going for the toy).  I also provide a lot of similar toys, so if they all want to play with a toy phone for example, I pull another toy phone out for the other one to play with.  I hate it when parents say share your toys, and allow children to just rip toys out of each other's hands.  If they protest, THEY get in trouble for not sharing their toys.  That seems backwards to me.  I wouldn't like someone ripping something out of my hands!!!

Answer 6

For now I would teach her to find another and not worry about.  As she gets older you can teach her to use words.  She can say "I was playing with that, please give it back " or "We can play together".

Answer 7

When that happens with my kids, I tell the other child that she/he has to give it back because my child had it first, then after my child is done with it, I say thanks for waiting so nice and let them play with the toy! I have a 7yr old 4 and 12 month old Good Luck!