What do I tell my 4 yr old about about the family cat can needing to be put to "asleep"?

Question

Our cat of 10 years needs to be euthinized. My daughter is 4 and fond of the cat. Do I tell her the cat is sick and died? And have her wonder everytime someone gets sick are they going to die too? Do I tell her the cat ran away? And then have to answer why? Do I tell her the truth and try to explain euthinization? Please any advice is appreciated.

Answer 1

say that the cat is sleepy. so it needs to go to sleep forever. and it told you to get one of his friends. thats what my mom told me when i was 4 and we had to put my dog to sleep. i was only sad for a few days. then my mom told me that the dog went to heaven

Answer 2

well i think u should lie for now tell her when she is grown up for now buy another one that looks alike.Edited or u can tell her now but i dont think she will understand much cause shes too young.

Answer 3

this is hard. i really don't have any experience with this type of thing and all parents handle it differently. but i believe when i have a kid, i'll explain death as taking a long, long, long rest when you get sick. i'm not saying this is what you should do, just my advice. good luck, and i'm so sorry about the loss of your cat.

Answer 4

At 4 years old, I don't think she will understand euthinization.  As far as going to 'sleep'... that may create a fear to go to sleep herself.  

You should explain death to your child.  Keep the explanation focused on animals though - you don't want to create an unneccessary fear.  

If your beliefs allow, tell her the cat went to be with Jesus in Heaven.  DO tell her your cat got sick.  But tell her that only Jesus has the medicine to help the cat.  (Or some variation of the story).

I do agree with Doodle... give her the opportunity to say good-bye.  That's an opportunity people rarely get in life.

Answer 5

just say "kitties going bye bye for awhile"

Answer 6

I wouldn't lie to her.  Kids are smarter than we give them credit for.  She's not too young to tell the truth.  I would be honest with her and tell her that the cat got really, really old, and got sick and died.  Tell her that it was hurting really badly, and it doesn't hurt anymore.  Kids understand about hurting. Also, tell her it's ok to feel very sad and cry about it dying.  It may also help her to deal with it if you have a memorial service for the cat.  You can use pictures, have her draw some if she wants, write a note to the cat and bury it so it goes to heaven too, tell stories about the cat, whatever could help her in that way.  One of the hardest things when something we love dies is feeling helpless.  If she feels like she's able to direct her grief by doing something like this, she'll be better able to put kitty to rest.

Answer 7

Tell her the truth dont lie to her about death if you can,bring the cat home and have a burial service in the backyard for it to give her closure wait a couple of weeks for her to grieve and maybe see if shes ready to pick out a new kitten. Let her name it,pick out a new collar,etc...

Dont tell her the cat went to sleep tell her the truth kitty got i would say 90yrs old or whatever 10 is in kitty years and it was time for kitty to go to a better place she is happy now playing with her mommy and daddy shes not sick anymore. I started mine out like this they now understand what death is or at least as much as they can and they do not fear it. Unfortuantly though it wasnt a pet it was their grandpa it would have been so much easier if it would of been a beloved pet.

Answer 8

You tell him the truth, but don't say "put to sleep"!  Can you imagine what he's gonna think when you say, "It's time to go to sleep, honey."  (eeeeekkkk) - Do NOT lie and say the cat ran away.  Just say the cat got very sick and died.  You don't have to say you "chose" the euthanization.  Just say it died (which, it did).  Of course, you'll have to try to explain "death" if she's not already familiar with the concept.  Best of luck to you.  sorry about your cat.

Answer 9

i would tell her the cat ran away.................. and go buy one that looks jst like it and say you found it then when shes like 14 tell her the truth about what happened and tell her she was to young to understand..... so you had to stretch the truth because tecnicley it ran away to heven and before a cat is born its in heven so you found a cat in the place it came from where the cat went and when she 14 she will know how to handdle it alot better than 4 becuse you cant just tell a four year old their cat die 1 they wont understand 2 it will be extemely hard to explain... good luck ;]] ps sorry about the cat :( we had to put our dog down :*( also when she 4 teen tell her on a bad day so you dont ruin a good one eventually she will get over it.

Answer 10

I think you need to use another word than "asleep" because you might scare her into thinking that when she goes to sleep she won't wake up.  You can tell her the cat is sick and can't stay here on earth anymore, that the cat needs to go to heaven.  I wouldn't give her the details, especially don't tell her the cat is going to get a shot and not wake up, because she may start to fear getting shots.  Just tell her the cat needs to go to heaven and have her say goodbye, maybe let her draw a picture of the cat or something and then have someone watch her while you take the cat to the vet, don't take her with you.

Answer 11

It is always best to tell the truth no matter what age the girl is.

Answer 12

tell her the cat went 2 live with its mom or sister in another gooooooddd home....hope this helps  :)   sounds kinda cheesy but shes 4.

Answer 13

aw thats hard

im really sorry

okayy welli really dont think its right to lie to her because if she finds out when shes older she may take it hard

i would just tell her that the kitty is really sick

and she has to go to sleep for a really long time

andthen when she gets older like in a few years just tell her she died.

maybe?

hope this helps :)

Answer 14

I would just say "do you like being sick?" (obviuse answer "no') "well our cat got really sick and had to go to a place called heaven" and maby get a new cat.

Answer 15

my method, personally, is to tell the truth.  i think that, in situations like this, the truth is better and actually less hurtful than trying to smooth things over with some kind of sugary story or some kind of half-lie.  there is nothing wrong with introducing your child to the reality of life and death.  then, after that, you can go get them a new cat.

Answer 16

Others have given suggestions, but I wanted to add that you should make the opportunity for her to say goodbye to the cat before and after death.  Kids DO understand death, but it's especially important when it is a family pet to say goodbye.  If you can, bury the cat at home.  If you can't, I'd recommend staying with your pet and then having your daughter come in afterwards to say goodbye.  

Some people would this this is really out there, but I've been there and done that and for a lot of people, they need that.

Answer 17

I don't know, that is tough. Maybe tell her that your cat is in a lot of pain and is going to go to a better place, where it will feel better and be happier.

Answer 18

Tell her that cat got old and died and is in a better place. When people things get very old they die and go to heaven, or what ever your "heaven" may be.