What do do with my 8 year old that doesnt listen and lies and does what he wants no matter what the punishment

Question

my 8 year old son does what he wants. he sneaks in my room when im sleeping and takes his gameboy or he waits till im in the shower and eats cake or sneaks candy when he's grounded and trys to hide the wrappers. when i catch him he lies about it. he hides his clean clothes instead of putting them away and i have spanked him and grounded him and last week he started hiding them in the bottom of the dirty clothes hamper so that im just washing them over and over. i dint give him a birthday this year. i took away all toys games tv. i made him write sentences 5000 times. he and his sister share a room and if she plays her gameboy when she falls asleep he takes it and plays it then lies about it. i dont know what else to do nothing works with him. spanking, grounding, washing out his mouth it doesnt matter he still lies and does what he wants. i need to fix this before he gets older but i dont know what else to do or take away. please help!!!

Answer 1

take him to a counselor

Answer 2

you sound like the parent of that book, A Child called It

Answer 3

perhaps you should spend more time doing positive things with youre son.praise him when he is good tell him why you are praising him perhaps put  a reward system in place?you no the usual treats extra telly ,sweets.and when hes bad again tell him what hes done and the consequences.hug him and tell him you love him. do things with both kids make time alone with each child so they are sharing you it could be sibling rivalry.if so share youre self timewise equally. if you praise the girl more because she is better behaved try not to let youre son see you do it all the time.i have got 4 boys 18 15 13 11 and a grandaughter i have a lot of experience.its trial and error see what works best and stick to it.good luck

Answer 4

summer vacation is coming up, have you considered brat camp? Even a short spell can shock some kids on to the straight and narrow.

It might help to have an idea of why he's acting up? Has he gone through some shock recently, for example a change of school, the loss of a pet, has a friend moved away from the area, even being frightened by a dog, anything?

It may help somewhat if you don't punish him in front of his sister. Take him to another room and then do the shouting or the punishing. If you punish one child in front of another it can make the first child much angrier and can lead to them acting up even more.

Answer 5

you need to get parental counseling ...cause what you're doing isn't working

Answer 6

Send him to Africa. The will take care of him.

Answer 7

8 year olds will believe almost ANYTHING. tell him a scary story like a comment on youtube thats a chain letter and in the end, say if u dont start being good, tthis will happen to u. hope my advice works out!

Answer 8

stick to one form of punishment - and make it immediate - and make it consistent.  changing punishments, double guessing yourself, giving in etc will all send him a message that he won.  It's a test to find the boundaries, make them clear and still to them.  I'd stick with time out in a boring room for 10 mins when he acts up (not only when you find something because he's got to be rude to you if he's doing these other thigns too).  Be consistent.  Give one warning, then do it - every time.  Explain why it's being done and after 10 mins make him apologize.  Aftewards cuddle and tel lhim you love him.

Answer 9

This is not a hate post so please listen to what I have to say.  This is what any counselor will explain to you:  This is why I agree that spanking doesn't work.  Obviously your kid is 8 so didn't just start spanking him yesterday.  Every child I know who was spanked, had their mouths washed out, etc.. it did nothing for them.  They just rebelled more.  They're looking for your approval and attention in the strangest ways and then they do it all over again because no one is explaining WHY not to do something.  No child is going to stop doing something if the punishment doesn't fit the crime.  He keeps doing the same things because you haven't taught him the LOGIC behind right/wrong... the only logic he's being taught is IF I do this then Mom will punish me somehow.  

Kids need to be spoken to.  Parents need to understand that they are supposed to be here to explain and reason and teach respect and morals.  That all has to start at an extremely early age.

I would suggest going to a counselor to get more ideas on how to 'reverse' this so to speak.

If that doesn't work or you can't do that, I'm all for military school.  I am amazed at how well they help guys straighten out... sometimes it just takes a firm, confident male role model (not to criticize you or make you feel bad in ANY way.. but some boys need this more than others).

Answer 10

The reason he's rebelling like this is cause you're being far too strict. Taking away his birthday and washing his mouth out? LOL that's insane. Have you ever heard of just talking to a child and explaining the rules, and explaining why they're going to be enforced?

Answer 11

When i was a punk my father took everything out of my room exept my bed. He would stay close  out side my door in the living room i would had to be checked on every 12 min. But first if you think of doing that you should try this. Talk to your son and ask him if he has a problem. If hes sneeking in the middle of the night for a game boy, get a perscription for a sleeping pill. If he wants candy everyday, thats his fault the punishment will be a root canal. When ever he lies tell him the wolf story. give him a journal he'll write in it you sneek it youll know whats going on.

Answer 12

One word for you:  L E A T H E R!  Suggestion:  Apply as needed!!  My opinion:  Apply the board of education to the seat of learning = RESULTS!

I was raised old school...my parents believed that God gave me a butt to be used when I didn't obey.  They believed that straps of leather made a persuasional tool.  Guess what!  It WORKS!  I'm now a 33 year old mother of 2 boys.  Talk with anyone I know and they'll tell you my kids are respectful, honest, all around good boys.  Talk to people I've just met, and they'll tell you my kids are quiet, respectul boys that they'd like to see more of.

You want your kid to listen, give him a reason!  Light his butt up with that belt a couple times a day, as needed, and he'll see that you mean business and you're not going to compromise until he KNOWS you mean business!  I don't believe in abusing your children, but spanking them and beating them are two different things!  Ever heard the term:  Talk softly and carry a big stick!?  You talk so that he can hear you, and you use the 'stick' so he knows what you said and feels it for a while afterward!

If you apply that strip of leather to his butt when he needs it, you won't have to take anything away, make him write lines or make idle threats.  He'll know YOU MEAN BUSINESS!  My parents didn't ground me, take things away, punish me with chores...the whipped my butt.  Problem solved!  The next time, I thought twice before I made my move...and 9 times out of 10, if I thought I'd get my butt spanked for it, it wasn't worth it!  The End!

God bless you, Darlin'!

Answer 13

Military School