What do do you think of this poem that i wrote?

Question

My Eyes

I sit and I watch.

I watch you

and your smile.

You look down.

I am to the left.

You avoid my stare

because you know

I

am waiting to meet your gaze.

You just know that you will see the hunger in my eyes

for you.

To be with you.

To see your face

one

and one more time again.

I wait until you are ready.

You look up.

To the right.

To the left.

You meet me.

And we just sit.

We sit and we think about who we really are.

Who we lie to.

What we lie about.

We tell ourselves bad things about ourselves for

attention.

Does it last?

You know the answer.

We wait until it is too late.

We wait until our pride is hurt,

and our confidence is in ruins.

There is no going back.

You see all of this in my eyes.

You ponder the thought.

And yet you look away

because you are not ready.

You are not ready for the truth

yet.

You can’t handle what

Is right because you know that in the truth

you will be defeating

yourself.

Yourself.

All you think about.

#1.

you.

Yourself.

No one else.

And so,

to solve your problem of defeating your self

you look away.

You don’t dare to look back.

For the fear of being beaten in your argument is to

strong.

I feel sorry for you.

Some day you will look into my eyes and admit

defeat

with a white flag.

One wave of defeat and you are…

human again.

One look.

Some day!

Answer 1

you are gifted, really well written, and i wish this person appreciated you for you, there Loss my friend, always remember what didn't make

you laugh can't make you cry. Some day someone will come along

who appreciates you, and wants to love and be with only you.

You'll see

Answer 2

hi, sounds more like a confusing email i  got once. paulie

Answer 3

it's okay I mean the point your trying to make but the wording is off.

sorry not big on poems.

Answer 4

yes i liked it very good xx

Answer 5

i really enjoyed reading this , please feel free to read mine

Answer 6

This is wonderful writing, and clearly from a troubled heart. Refrences here to perhaps a conversation during a break up, or perhaps a partner who has been un faithfull.

I could read this poem again and again and find something new each time.

I also like it because it captures pain and emotion you were feeling at the time. It also made me remind myself of similar situations.

Well Done, I am impressed.

Answer 7

Love it

Answer 8

i loved that!! it was really good!

keep it up :)

Answer 9

its good.

with poetry writing class maybe it could be better.

Answer 10

Tumb up; I like it. I would prefer to write a poem of my thoughts > a poem of someone elses.. :D

Answer 11

I love the poem you have a really GREAT talent. But I couldnt help but wonder who is it your talking about???

Answer 12

it's okay, kinda long..but it's good

Answer 13

deep. but very good.