What do i do about my Bridesmaids gifts?

Question

Originally my fi and i were going to pay for the rooms rented at the reception venue because there was an open bar. BUT then i had some saying they didn't want to stay and too much conflict, and then we were still going to get them other things.. Since we decided NOT to do that they are assuming that they are getting it. I don't know what to do.. just say hey i'm not paying for your room because you complained about it in the first place. So i am thinking about paying for their hair and make-up. jewelery and something personal that each girl likes.

Answer 1

Since you already put it out there, you really should stand by your word!  

Answer 2

You said you would pay, and you should stick to that. From what you said, it doesn't sound like everyone complained, so what about those who've kept quiet?

Usually, though, bridesmaids are responsible for all travel and hotel room expenses, and the bride will give them something personal as a thank you. Bridesmaids usually appreciate that more, anyway, because it's something you put thought into.

My two cousins (my BMs) have been in numerous weddings over the years, and when I asked them about gifts and such,  they said they prefer to pay for their own hair, make-up, nails and hotel room because then they can choose their price points. They also never likes jewelery to wear in the wedding, either because they never wore it again. The gift should be personalized for each attendant based on what you think they'd like to have AFTER the wedding. My BMs always said their favorite gifts had meaning and you could tell tell the bride picked it out just for them to enjoy after the big day (i.e. it had nothing to do with the wedding).

If you plan on paying for the hotel, hair, make-up and nails AND a gift, well, that's very generous of you (if you're not breaking the bank to do so). However, just know that you don't need to go over the top to show your appreciation.

EDIT: Just saw your details. Did you tell everyone that you were no longer paying for their rooms? It sounds to me like you got in over your head with providing for them, which is why most brides don't pay for any travel or hotel expenses - or hair and make-up for that matter. I would sit down now and decide what you can and can't do and then  talk with everyone.

Answer 3

Well I think you should tell them that your not going to pay for there rooms any more because they complained, and getting hair and make up is a nice thing to do for them and a piece of jewelry would also be nice

Answer 4

It's probably easier to just pay for the rooms.  You may be able to get a discount if you get X amount of rooms.  They will appreciate it, and you will know where to find them, and that they will be able to drink and be safe after the party.

If you're still thinking of a gift in addition to the room, I would suggest a nice basket for the room.  You can get a bag, or basket, and personalize them to each gal.  Include things for everyone (a couple of bottles of water, gum, some snack, chocolate), and then maybe something small for each gal that's just for them.  

It doesn't have to be dramatic, or expensive.  And a nice, short, sweet note thanking them for being part of your day will make them smile.

Have fun!

Answer 5

I think that you should ask them if they prefer that you pay for their room, or get them a gift or have their hair done as a thanks.

Even if you do pay for their room, getting them a small trinket might be nice.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Yep if you mentioned it before you can't take it back now.  I would pay for the rooms for those who want it and for those who don't, offer to pay their hair and make up.