What do i do about my husbands family who doesn't seem to want me around? ?

Question

I love my husband more than anything and can't imagine life without him. Strange thing is, his family does not seem to want me around. I have made numerous efforts to get to know them. They just always seem to blow me off. I don't understand. I talk to my husband about it and he sees what is happening but does not do anything to help me out. I am starting to resent them. I am afraid that this will come to a point where I just can't be around them and that will in turn affect my marriage. I am the kind of person where, if it hurts...get rid of it. Even though I love him. I don't know if I can take the constant anger I get towards some of his family. Thanks...

Answer 1

Um talk to your husband about possibly inviting them over for dinner, i can understand how that can be very irritating. Maybe when your over his parent's house try speaking to them separately, for example if his mom is in the kitchen cooking, then offer to help cook. Best of luck! And dont give up

Answer 2

I would just come out and say something to them.  Bring the problem out in the open.  Just say  Have I done something to offend you.  I get the feeling that you don't like me around.  I really would like to get it out in the open. You seem nice and I would like to get to know better.  See what they say.  Put the ball in there court.  If they continue to act like that you will know you did your best and they arn't nice people you want to hang around with anyway.

Answer 3

You decide what you will put up with it. Grin and bear it and give it little to no thought or decide how far you will let it push your own marriage.

Answer 4

Try minimal contact with them, talk to them only when it is necessary, but avoid bending over backwards for them. Do not talk to them unless asked to. BUT MAKE SURE YOU ARE ALWAYS KIND AND COMPASSIONATE TO THEM. Let them realise that you are someone who is good and caring. They will end up making efforts to like you back.

Show them that you are a good person, but start off by making less contact, a go from there.

Answer 5

Your inlaws suck and you should not make any more effort to get along with them than you have made.  I would tell them in front of my husband that "I am new to the family and I feel as if you do not want me around, I will respect you as my husband's relatives because I love him, but I see no reason why I should put myself out to you all when you seem to intentionally make me feel unwanted.  If you cannot say it then write a note to the "head" of the family.  Your husband should say something even though he is caught in the middle.  You are his wife and he is obligated to you first.  

Answer 6

if it were me, i would have a one-on-one talk with a member of his family. find out how they feel about you and why. once you know the reason, you can address it, could be your perception, or maybe they think they have a valid reason.  

Answer 7

They just may not be social people.  My mother is like that.  She didnt even come to my wedding because other people would be there.  It might not be that they dont like you or anything, they just might like to keep to themselves.  I had the opposite problem when I got married.  I came from a family that didnt really do anything socially with anyone except each other to a family of inlaws that wanted us to be around all the time.  They were always inviting us over for dinner, lunch, to watch a movie, etc.  I used to get so irritated because I felt like they wouldnt leave me alone lol.  Anyway, what I am trying to say is it could just be they are closed off type of people and not necessarily a reflection on how they feel about you.