What do i do in this situation.(FAMILY SITUATION)?

Question

Im the only child.Today me and my mom had a REAL conversation for the first time before i head off for college she ask me about kids.

i told her i dont want kids and i want my ovaries out.

2nd she ask do i want a husband. I said no because im 19 i never dated or had a boyfriend i like being alone.

she broke out in tears saying she didnt want to die without seeing me happy.BUT I AM HAPPY

Answer 1

Tell her that for now, you ARE happy.  You're 19--what is her rush?

In time your feelings may change on both issues.  And then again, maybe not.  But as long as you are happy, that's the most important thing.

The flip side of this coin is I can see where she is coming from too.  Every mother wants her child to have a family.  She is probably looking forward to the day of having grandchildren...and since you are the only child, you are the only one that can supply that for her.  

So, what I think is you both should have another talk.  Tell her you are happy the way things are now.  But then tell her that things could change down the road, then again maybe not.  Either way, you want her to be happy for you because you're happy.  And then tell her what it is that you want out of your life.  She may or may not understand, but at least you've put all your cards on the table.  Good Luck.

Answer 2

Just explain that to her. Parents don't usually speak Teen/Young Adult.

But you should try out dating. Sometimes, the natural world sends out signs when you meet the perfect guy and you become friends. You don't have to have kids, but if you want to make your mom happy, you should adopt.  

Answer 3

tell ur mom that thats just how u are

and that u are happy like this

everyone is different and this is just how u r and how u r  happy

Answer 4

People grow up thinking happiness is having a husband and kids and that's what she meant. She wants you to live life like you want to. She was just being a mom/emotional.

Answer 5

your mother is just being a mother.  And i bet once you do met a guy your mind will change.  

Answer 6

I really do think what you think is beyond true but look at it this way you will have a 99.9% chance of being happy with a family i know it seems bad now but I know if you hear me out starting a family is one of the best things asnyone could ask for : D

Answer 7

You realize no good doctor will take out your ovaries right? You have no control over your mom's feelings. First conversation? You'd think that by 19 she'd know you well enough to have figured this out. If that's how you feel, that's your right. Lots of people are perfectly happy living alone and not parenting. God knows there are enough unwanted and abused children in the world. Ignore your mother. Her feelings are not your problem.

Answer 8

At 19 these are pretty big choices to be making!!!

I never wanted kids or marriage, and then I turned 26 and suddenly I wanted it.. I have friends who have turned 32- 35 and suddenly thought about having children!

Please don't make decisions like this at your age.. Don't get rid of your ovaries, and when discussing it with your Mum tell her it's not in your ten year plan, but who knows... BE DIPLOMATIC- you are old enough to know about tact.

Best of luck with college, and remember one of the best sayings you will ever hear is:

Never say Never..

I think it's great that you are so dedicated to school and a future but eventually there will be room for more.

The day may come where you fall in love and get married and want children, and then if you can't have them, it will break your heart. (I realise right now you are saying "that wont ever happen" but please trust me when I tell you, that it can and probably will!

Answer 9

Being a mother of 3 grown children, I can appreciate how your mom felt after hearing your young choices you're considering w/your life.  Why not before you leave, just tell her you stated the way you feel at the moment, but in all honesty we do have the choice to change our minds at any given time.  I'd tell her you're sorry & didn't mean to hurt her or upset her.  Please don't go away leaving those tho'ts in her mind.  Yes I know I sound like an "old person" but none of us honestly know what the true future holds for any of us, & over the yrs. I too have learned never to say never.  This I believe in time you also w/experience. Just leave on a happier note for your mom's sake.  She loves you, I'm sure you also love her.  If you can find it in your heart to leave on some "softer" words, I feel it w/help w/your mom's feelings.  I don't think it would be too much to do for her sake.  Hopefully you'll think about it & make the rite choice...Best to you...:)

Answer 10

i understand what you mean

maybe you need to talk to you mom again

Answer 11

you kinda have weird decisions made for your future, everyone wants to be inlove! and atleast have a boyfriend.

your mom probably broken into tears because she doesn't want you to be alone for the rest of your life. it may seem okay to you now because ur still young and with ur parents and stuff.. and it's normal not to be in a serious relationship.. but life gets hard and boring and tiring.. u need some1 on your side. she wants to see you happy before she dies, if u don't start a family that means u'll have no family to take care of u and spend time with you when ur old..

that's why she was sad.

so i know these r ur opinions but maybe i can add.. "for now" as in.. i don't wanna get married for now.. but i don't know what might happen later.