What do i do now?...heartbroken to be honest.

Question

Background Detail: I moved to Bristol from my hometown in Cornwall to be with my partner because he said it couldnt work with the distance. I've been living here for 5 months now. I haven't alot of money and am currently looking for a full-time job. I gave up my home my family and my friends for him. I found me and him a shared house to live in and he was going to pay the rent whilst im looking for a job and then i could pay him back. We signed papers and handed over the deposit etc and were due to move in on August 1st. For family reasons we have to temporarily stay at his parents' house because noone is here to look after it and the animals. We were also due to get engaged soon.

Last night my partner told me that i should go back to Cornwall because it's not working me living with him. I asked him if he loved me and he said he didnt know. He was being really cold with me and saying that i brought it on myself and that i've changed. He's now told me that he does love me but not as much as he used to. Eventually we came to an agreement and for now he's going to live on his own in the house we were meant to be living in and im going to stay at his parents' house on my own ( big house very lonely) until i get a job and can pay for rent myself. I dont know how long this process is going to take and its my 18th next month and i cant see it as being a good time. Just a time full of heartache and playing the waiting game.

You might know that i'm extremely heartbroken and confused by everything, i've known him for 2 and a bit years and been with him for a year and 8 months. I don't feel im too young and i dont feel that i'm naive.

Any help or words of wisdom would be very much appreciated.

Thank you in advance :)

Answer 1

I'm not sure what you mean by "gave up" your family and friends, but if it were me I would leave him and go back home.  Maybe starting a life of your own would help you discover what you truly want in a partner.

Answer 2

aww hun, sounds like ur not having a great time of it. kina sounds like he will have u staying with him but only if u can pay ur own way? thats a bit weird.

it also sounds like ur guy doesnt know what he wants from u, first he doesnt know if he loves u, then he says he does but not as much, u need to talk to him and find out exactly how he feels because u are the one that has made sacrafices for him. u also didnt say how u felt about how this move had went and how u felt about moving away. its a big step to move away from every1 u love and care about, so perhaps u could have changed because of this? he doesnt sound like he has even thought about how u feel, not the actions of some1 u have been seeing for over a year and a half. i know u dont want to rock the boat and push him further away esp as u have been together this long but u need to know whats going on. u are young and u cant wait on him to wise up forever.

Answer 3

Is he going to live alone and you are going to live with his parents???? Girl, that's total madness!!! He said he was confused and that you have changed...but the fact is that I'm sure you have not changed, what has happened is that he knows you more and he doesn't like what he has seen or he is not excited about you anymore!!!

I wouldn't accept his deal, or living together or pack you bags!!

What kind of future do you have if you cannot live together? Think about it! If I were you I would get back home!

Answer 4

If I were you, I would spit on him and shout at him first and blame him to drag me all the way down to Bristol from Cornwall.  Then pack my bags and leave.

But all of before that, cry over the phone to your parents and get some money off your parents in order to pay for your journey.

Answer 5

i would say to look inside your self and figure out if u want to wait it out or just move back home. ending this is going to be hard but u have to know that there will absolutely be other guys youll meet. start going out with friends and keeping ur mind off of this guy. or if you want to work it out talk to him and figure out what he wants. he cant give you i dont no or im not sure answers bc thats not going to fix anything. be like i need a concrete answer bc im not goin to waste my time. if he knows he wants to be with you but hes scared about taking that next step of moving in together, you need to talk and be like i understand ur nervous but youre making me feel like u just are over me. living with his parents tho i dont think is a good idea. i think you either need to wind up in the house you guys bought or whatever together, or just go home. but talking is going to be the best youre going to get right now i think. how i said get answers out of him, not i dunno. and express how u feel and how u understand his feelings. and ask him to do the same for you.

Answer 6

Go back home to your family and friends.. I think you may need them in time to come...

At least he is being honest now rather than later, it sounds as though he is not ready for what you had planned and wants to end it before you both get in too deep.. good luck x

Answer 7

I would be very wary about living in his parents house on my own. If things deteriorate and he doesn't want to be with you, there is always the danger that you could be blamed for anything going wrong in the house or for things going missing.

Why not go home for your 18th? That's what he wanted wasn't it? Your friends and family would be around you to help celebrate. The time apart would give both of you space to work out what you really want regarding this relationship. You took a huge step leaving everything for this man and it sounds like he's regretting the decision for one reason or another. Go home. If he really loves you he'll come after you. If he doesn't, you will have a loving network of friends and family around you to support you.