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What do i do to get more respect from my ex so my children learn respect?

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What should i do to get more respectful help from my ex? I'm a single mom of a 16 year old daughter and a 12 year old son, i fought on in febuary of this year my father had been sexual abusing my daughter i went through a very long legal and emotional roller coaster, in the end my father got arrest and bonded himself out on april 9th, my birthday 34th, he killed himself, I'm originally from oregon and moved to florida 8 years ago to be with my father, his wife and my sister and brother, but do to his dealth my sister and stepmother moved to california and my bother will no longer talk to me, even though he knows the truth do to my sister let it be know she was sexually abuse by our father too as a teenager, both my children have different fathers and i have singley raise both my children on my own with out any finacial assistance im a sucessful dental assistant and been doing it 4 almost 17 years, but im stuggling with the fact that i have no family or father in the same area and the children communicate to my son father whom has been more of a father then my daughter they both owe me over 15,000 -32,000 in child support but that has never kept me from seeing or communicating with there father but lately they feel to call my sons father and tell him bad stuff and it hurts my heart i went on date and lied to the children to protect them because i believe no one showed know about my children until they r more then a date and my 16 old thought i should of told her when i explained i need to have a personal adult life too and then she called my son father and he called let me know i showed of told the truth unless i beeing a hor, i guess i writing this to see if others go through the same situation and how do they approached them, i go to conceling ever week dealing with the actions of my father and my job supports me alot i have been with them over 8 years now and highly respected but i need respect from my children and team work with my ex not always negative, because i be a young mom but i build a 2800 sqare foot home for them on my own my daughter gets to shopping has her own car i pay all her bills and i respect her as a teenager and let her do what she wants because she is responsiable and a honor student and will be doing dual enrollment this year, my son on the other hand is very smart but very social and homework is always a large struggle but it not help when there father disrespect me because that teaches them they can too. please write me if you have some good advice.Who has been through this and how did you deal with it?

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  1. Why wasn't your radar up after you had been abused?  Why would you ever leave them alone with this man?

    That aside.  There may be too many hard feelings and genuine feelings of disrespect for you, well earned after the grandfather episode.  Just ask them to try for a mutual respect for the kid's sake, and then do your part to behave correctly.  Set your own good example.

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