What do i tell her?

Question

my step mom insists on being in the delivery room for my second child just because she was there for my first. not really my top choice, but my mom died when i was young, i didnt want my dad, and my dad wouldnt let my now husband then boyfriend because he was angry he got me pregnant. we were 16. now that i am pregnant again, my step mom feels she should be the one in there, since she was there for the birth of Ethan. but i just want it to be me and my husband, especially because my husband wasnt allowed in their for the birth of Ethan. i told her this, but she persists. what can i do to make her realize?

Answer 1

Alert the hospital upon check in to not let her in, then tell her straight out that you only want your husband in the delivery room, although you appreciate her support, this is something you will not budge on.

Answer 2

My mom was like that.  I just stayed firm and told her that other than the doctor and nurses, I didn't want anybody there that wasn't in the room when we conceived her.  Just say you were glad she was there for Ethan's birth, but this time you want things to be a little more private.  Or, don't call her until after the baby is born. :)

Answer 3

tell her her you want it to be quiet and peaceful in the room when you bring your second child into the world. tell her that you want your husband to be the only one there because he didn't get to see the first child be born. if she is still persisting tell her she needs to respect your wishes. but also tell her you care about her and are glad she cares about you and wants to be there for you and the baby. tell her to wait in the waiting room and as soon as you can you'll let her see the baby.

Answer 4

Just don't call her when it happens, I know it is horrible but that's what i had to do, My mother in law got over it pretty soon because she wanted to see the baby.

Answer 5

Step moms sometimes act as if they are the real mom, just to show your father how concern she is to you, but you cant blame her,she must be that excited. If you cant tell her personally, try to ask the doctor or nurse, to advice your step mom that no one is allowed in the room, only your husband.

Answer 6

Chances are you will have to demand she wait in the waiting room where everyone else is. I was 15 (2 months from 16) when I had my daughter but NO ONE told me who could or could not be in the room. Sounds like you have let others make too many decissions for you and if you are ever going to make them realize that you are a person who CAN and WILL make choices for yourself, you must do it now!! I am serious. Your husband will never (no matter how many times he says otherwise) forgive the fact that he wasn't allowed to witness  the birth of his first child. Period. If you do not stand up for him OR yourself, you will eventually loose him. If you think that she doesn't value your opinion, let your husband stand up for himself. The law states that only the BIOLOGICAL parents of an unborn child, other than the doc for medical purposes, enforce and decide who goes in for deliveries. Tell him that she won't listen to your wishes and you want for him to be there with you so he needs to  tell them. It doesn't have to be nasty or hateful. Just clear. "I am going in with my wife to share in the joy of the birth of our child. I do not wish to hurt anyone, nor make them feel the way I did when my first was born and I wasn't allowed to be a part of the birth, therefore I will be there this time and would appreciate it if you would (insert chore or task to be performed at that time) for me and my wife." Have him say the quote, making sure he adds a task or chore such as watching the older child or notifying others and updating them on your condition, so that she feels like she is participating in some aspect. Also, try telling your dad how YOU feel and let him explain it to her. Hope this helps....From,Another that has been there.

Answer 7

You can just tell the hospital staff that no one is to be in the room with you but your husband and the doctors and the security staff will make sure your wishes are respected. Tell your step mom that you just want it to be you and your husband, and if she can't respect that then you will have her forcefully kept out of the delivery room, and that will be embarrassing.

Answer 8

I would just tell her this time it will be your husband and that is it then let the hospital staff know as well when you go in that your husband it to be the only one allowed back there during labor and delivery.

You could also make sure not to have her called when you go into labor, just call after the baby is born.  My stepsister did that to her mom, she just didn't want her mom up there during the delivery and her mom was saying she would be there so my sister dropped her son off with us and they went to the hospital and she called her mom right after the baby was born.

Answer 9

IF she persists (which is annoying, I know) Tell the doctors before hand that you want ONLY YOU AND YOUR HUBBY! Your step mom can just get over it- that is her issue of possibly being controling. This is your life, your marriage, your child(ren)!  What she feels is different than what you need! BE STRONG.