What do i tell my 11 year old daughter about s*x and what do i do if she has.?

Question

the mother of my little girl told my that she has been running off with boys and not telling her mom where she is for long periods of time and one day when she came home she took off her clothes and her privates were red. she is a very developed girl for her age and beautiful. she denies it but i dont think i will rest till i know if she is still a virgin. how do i talk to her so she will open up to me and not think she is going to get in trouble cuz its about her safty not trouble. when i heard the news i got really mad and told her if she gets pregnet i will make her get a job move out and raise the kid all by her self and i wont help her with furthering her education, i hope i didnt do the wrong thing. i really need some advice. please, this is about the rest of her life and i dont want her to throw it all away beacuse of a stupid boy that dosent even know what there doing. please help me i beg you. give her your prayers and best wishes.

blessed be,

Answer 1

listen, i found out about s*x when i was 10,

but at the same time my mom told me about stds,

and she made me watch a whole movie about aids,

and i honestly didnt wanna get aids, or and other std.

so you have to tell her the bad things that can happen,

to you.

good luck.

Answer 2

tell her every detail how you had it

Answer 3

I agree completely with what JohnO said. Be honest with her and tell her about what life would be like were she to have a child at that age. Don't threaten her, it may push her away. In fact, you could even show her this site and some of the questions that these young girls have posted about "help! I'm pregnant and don't know what to do" to show her the strife that these girls are facing. Just an idea. And, yes, the threefold rule. Blessed be and may She be with you :)

Answer 4

Well Developed?? Yeah she's having s*x! You should step up and be a better parent. The mother should too. I'm not saying you're bad parents. All I'm saying is that you need to set Boundaries!! If not, you're gonna end up with your feelings hurt. You should be straight with her! Beat her A**!! Tell her about boys! It's your job as a father to keep her in check. You don't want her to end up with AIDS at 13. Alot of girls these days are out of control. I don't blame them. I blame their parents.

Answer 5

Kicking her out and not supporting her is one way to make sure she fails. Scaring her is only going to keep her from coming to you when she really needs your help.

Apologize to her and say that you overreacted. Do not apologize for anything specific. You do not want her to know that you will completely support her if she becomes pregnant because she may feel entitled to "forget" a condom. But you do want to apologize for overreacting and tell her that you want her to come to you about these things so that she can be safe. Tell her the truth about everything regarding s*x and answer her questions honestly.

Answer 6

Tell her its something you can never take back.  At her age no one is worth that much.  s*x is for older (or if you're religious, married) people to show how much they love each other and to conceive children.  She surely doesn't want kids right?  Educate her about stretch marks too.  That deterred me for a while.  If you start all that stuff young you have to live with it for the rest of your life whether your consequences are an STD, a kid, a bad reputation, or just the shame of knowing what you did.  Every thought, word, and action make up a person.  If you think bad thoughts, say bad things, and do bad things you are in essence a nasty person.  Also tell her that she should learn to love herself before looking to any boy/man for affection because a horny teenage boy's words won't make up for what you don't feel yourself.

Answer 7

Don't threaten her it will just push her away. Just openly talk to her and make sure she knows you understand and and just want the best for her. If she is comfortable with you she will open up to you. Just give her time and space. Just explain to her how you feel

I hope the best for you both!

Answer 8

i am 14 and both my years at jr high and i think they also do this in high school .. they had an aim for succes program that talked about absistinence and what could happen if you started having s*x at a young age (the disesases you could get, the effects it would have on you life, ect.) and for me s*x isn't an issue but it taught me alot of lessons so i can maybe look out for my friends who think they are making clever decisions ... this will most likely help you alot .. here is the website www.aimforsuccess.org well good luck with your daughter .. and even if she rolls her eyes and goes "uggh dad i don't wanna talk about it" just remember its for her safety and maybe this one talk will make a difference .. again good luck

have a nice day!

Answer 9

Threatening her is not the way to do it. That's basically a good way to guarantee she'll never ever tell you anything for fear of what /else/ you might do to her in the meanwhile.

Be honest with her. Talk to her about birth control. Condoms. The pill. Everything. Tell her to be careful with herself and how to not get taken advantage of. Real, genuine, practical - stress this, /practical/ - advise is more valuable than any amount of threats or punishments.

And be honest with yourself. Would you really want back threefold the kind of energy you would be putting out by throwing your own daughter - and your grandchild - out of the house? Does that truly harm no one?

Blessed be.

Answer 10

telling her that you are going to kick her out isnt going to help her... Thats will just make her scared of telling you anything. The other thing is that you just need to talk to her. God cant make decisions for yout daughter. Your daughter can make decisions for your daughter.You need to just talk to her make ot something she can easily talk to you about and if not than tell her mom to make it easy for her to talk. you just need to have an open relationship. And if all else fails give her birth control. If you cant stop it than atleast have her be careful. : )

Answer 11

Scaring her is definitely the wrong thing to do. She's going to do what she wants regardless, so if you treat her with respect and have an open and honest relationship with her, at least you can HELP her make the right choices. Many kids that young ARE having s*x, and I think the best thing that you can do is to talk to her like she's a teen. Unfortunately, that's how it's happening outside of your house, so you need to talk to her the way you would a 13 or 14 year old. Most kids don't care about the risks of underage s*x, but if you can give her respect then you'll get hers. If you can't stop her from having s*x, at least you can talk to her about how to be responsible about it. Just STAY CALM, the more you freak out, the more she will retreat and hide things from you. I think the first step would be an appology, and the next would be a long talk. I would also reccommend getting her an appointment with a gynocologist. Good luck!

Answer 12

talk to her in a very nice and calm manner..tell her that you also had that experience before (though not like her age) and convince her to keep that everything she will be saying will be a secret...let her talk about how she was engaged in such activity and give her advice afterwards.......i suggest that you will make her conscience bother her a little so that she will not repeat the same mistake....this strategy always works....

don't shout at her..take care..

Answer 13

have her watch a women give birth vaginally and by Cesarean like on youtube I'm sure they have one