What do indians realy think of arranged marriages? will you ever be willing(or able) to rebell against it?

Question

I think its inhumane to prohibit people from finding they're true love and it violates your civils and human rights.

I am not indian, so i don't know too much about it, but i have a friend who is indian, she was raised in america, so she absorbed the american culture, her parents, however, now that she is 18 are indian and want to have her marry soon to some geek she doesn't know and she is in love with some guy who her parents don't aprove off and wants to go college and marry in 10 years.

She is very sad and she also feel like killing herself cause she say she feels like she lives with crazy people and her boyfriend is feeling the presure of dating her and he has told her they may break up soon .She loves her parents but pleasing them will maker so unhappy cause, lets face it they only want the other guys money not for her daugther to be happy .

Isn't silly antient traditions worth breaking for a childs happines?

Are indian parents really so selfish and shallow?

Answer 1

There are many presumptions in your question and the tradition of arranged marriage in India.

Firstly, arranged marriage is never foisted on a girl, especially in a cultured and educated families.  She is given a free hand to choose a boy of her liking.

Secondly, when the whole family takes part in selection of a groom, there is all possibility of coming to know the qualities of the groom-to-be.  It also helps bonding and in the event of future trouble in the marriage they can lend a supporting hand.  The family acts as a moral support to her instilling a confidence in her.

The ancient traditions are not to be scoffed at, but to be studied and understood.  They are made with a reason.

Thirdly, 18 years is not the age, where-in a girl has the maturity to decide for herself.  If her elders have decided that the boy she loves is not fit for her, why do u think it is only money and nothing else, (this sentence shows your immaturity too)Why don't u think that they are doing it for her welfare?

The primary duty of every son/daughter is to respect their parents and do things which pleases them.  

In American culture (as u say she has imbibed it) please tell me, does your parents immediately accept any girl/boy you show to them?  They of course put forth their opinion or like or dislike.  Again, in American culture, the principle of Respect and Love your Elders is lacking, (this is also the primary reason for western societies to have so many single parent children) so there is no surprise in your friend thinking that her parents are spoiling her life.  

Elders have gone through the grind. They have seen and experienced life much more than you or me.  So, sit across with them, find out why they are refusing the boy in question and you will find out how wrong you were.

Finally, what sort of boy friend he is, if he is already feeling the pressure of dating her.  Instead of instilling confidence in her and speaking to her parents, if he threatens a 18 year old girl of breaking up, then, in my opinion, he is not worth crying for.  Let him go.  

Cheers.

Answer 2

Arranged marriages in India are the most scientific way to a everlasting marriage unlike the frequent broken marriages you have in the rest of the world. The no of divorces or the %age of it to the population and the no of marriages in India is far lesser than in any part of the world.

Yes few break and are an exception but not a norm in India

Answer 3

All indian parents aren't shallow. I was allowed to marry my boyfriend. Please refrain from stereotyping. All my siblings, alot of my friends have all had love marriages.

Answer 4

well i am an indian and dont really think that indian parents are selfish... infact they care for their kids the most... when in america kids have two to three step fathers or mothers indian mom suffer even voilence so that the kid gets normal two parent up bringing....

i dont intend to hurt anyone with the above sentence.. but this is what i have seen in y answers atleast...

and as a  daughter i believe my parents can think better for me than myself.. they are more experienced and know world better... there must be some reason that they are not allowing that girl to marry her bf... maybe that h\geek they want their daughter to marry could keep the girl more happy...

Answer 5

I complelty agree with pundit pug: ...Really Parents are gaurdians they shud be gaurding not ruling us,they shud support our decision and seen the guy...if any sensible problem they see in the boy then they can say no and make daughter understand...but its no where here found..

just cing the cast creed ..the family says nooo for the boy...

i really feel this society is making ppl sick, our freedom fighters always fought to end up the CASTE DISCREMTION and  human-human discremation ,

But its all in vain,still those things are followed in every big city to small town...  

True love shud be always respected and Encouraged ....

I just say is tell ur freind if she is ready then start staying away from there parents ,so tat she can stay in peace ...I very well known these family ppl will never understand they will make tat childrens to dance according to them and finally will emotinally blackmail her tell her to marry ANYONE from thier caste ..

SICK THESE ARE

HOPE WE YOUNGSTERS CHANGE THIS SOON  

Answer 6

Im not Indian, but I can tell you with certainty...   business arrangments are MUCH easier than an emotional arrangment.

Answer 7

Well, in India, not everybody is like this...

I feel sad for her... :(

Answer 8

Well I'm not Indian. I'm actually Mexican. But I am moving to India and my parents said that they can arrange a marriage for me when I am older or I can choose. I want to choose. American Parents aren't selfish...there are many. But the basis of marriage around the whole world has been distorted. My parents were not arranged to be married, they met in College in America and later moved to Mexico. My parents say that an arranged marriage could help our family but the last thing they would want is to force me into something that I do not want. They feel that by making my own mistakes I will learn and those choices I make will make me stronger. Life is about what you can endure and if in Life you endure nothing you are nothing. I like my freedom to choose.  My parents aren't sheltering me....they are letting me grow on my own with them by my side to guide me.  

Answer 9

I totally agree with you, I am very interested in the subject of arranged marriages and have made several studies of arranged marriages myself....

I am very much against anything that strips anyone of the right to choose for themselves..... Even though finding a partner for their son/daughter is considered an act of love, it is done because it was done before them, and so the tradition continues.... until now. Times have changed, India and Indians want to join the rest of the world in lifestyles and way of life in general. parents nowadays, should realize this too, that just because they could not choose for themselves, that they should at least trust their children enough to make their own choices....even if they don't agree.

Protecting their children from "failure" or 'messing up' is denying them LIFE itself.... Live and let live, I say.....

Answer 10

arranged marriages give better results,

know one thing when ever u will hurt your parents u will never get piece in ur life...