What do people think about my poem?

Question

The Big Secret.

How do you tell a secret?

That's been hidden for so long,

How do you know what to say?

When you know what you do is wrong.

At the front of your mind,

Every second of every day,

Taking over normal thinking,

But wishing those thoughts would go away.

You can't stop what you do,

You try but you can't,

Everyday it gets worse,

When you know your living a lie.

It's easier not to say anything,

Than to expose the truth,

Not allowing people to know,

About the thing that lives inside of you.

So how do you tell a secret?

That's been hidden for so long,

And how do you know what to say?

When you know what you do is wrong.

Please give me some feedback.

Answer 1

You are the future.

I feel i can relate to that.

Keep writing.

Answer 2

I think its pretty good, but there are a few editting spots... Work on it a bit, and use what others have suggested, and it will be great! good luck!

Critique Mine?

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Answer 3

I liked it - you should polish it a bit for flow, though.

Answer 4

First stanza is ok, which is probably why you've repeated it at the end.  In between it seems to lose its rhymes and its way.  The language  is very limp with no images or anything else that would make it poetry.

How do you give an answer

To that answer-waiting gap

When you don't want to sound insulting

But you know that she's writing cr...?

Answer 5

i like it; it's good and explicitly tells your message which some like. although some like the mysteriousness of poems and like interpereting them. you fo keep that mysteriousness by keep the "secret" hidden. also you should work on giving the middle of the poem more flow and having them rhyme better. maybe you could give synonyms for the word secret.

it is a very good start.

remember the best poems have been revised again and again.

Happy poem writing and keep up the good work !

Answer 6

alrighte  give me feedback on my poem !!!!!!

Answer 7

Agree with Emma about the rhyming, you should work on that.  A lot of people will empathise with what you are saying in the poem.  I did.

Answer 8

Its quite good though I noticed the first two and last verses rhyme but two in the middle don't, which ruins the swing of the poem a bit. But its a nice poem with a good theme. You should add it to Allpoetry to get some more feedback from poets all over the world!

Answer 9

This is very interesting!! I like it!!

I mean its really good!!

Very creative and using your mind and took you time!!

This is an AWESOME poem!!

I like it alot!!

Answer 10

very good, that sounds as though it really means something to you.... well done xx

Answer 11

It's actually really good and I like how you ended with the same stanza that you started with.

Answer 12

Its alright

Answer 13

i like your poem its nice