What do the bride and groom talk about during their first waltz? --and other questions about weddings.

Question

I am not thinking about getting married soon at all, but if it happens, I'd like it to be great... I've been at some weddings and I can see the couple dancing the waltz and some of them seem to laugh and talk... others look romantic... in others the groom looks smooth, seductive and s**y... and in most cases they remain silent --awkwardly. What are good conversation topics for this moment? is it about how lucky they are they found each other? or is it about how lucky they are for having survived all this circus?

Last night i was at a friend's wedding and my friends and me were talking at our table about whether the couple really make love on their wedding night? or is it that they are too tired after all that circus the party is plus having the last few months like crazy with all preparations, etc etc? Do they still have the energy to consummate the wedding just after the party? or is it ok if they wait til next morning?

What is the point of having hundreds of guests at the wedding? relatives they dont even know? people who make business with the bride's father? friends of friends? why some people like to do that?

In the film 'My best friend's wedding', cameron diaz and dermott Mulroney's characters leave the party right after she throws the bouquet and the party without them... i've never seen that in real life weddings... in all cases i've seen, the couple stays til the very end, put the gifts in a car and they leave... how is it supposed to be?

why sometimes the father and mother in law look so apathetic? last night i felt bad about my friend as her maid of honor look bored and uncomfortable all the time, she didnt even want to compete with the other girls for the bouquet... her mum looked as she couldnt wait for the party to be over. her sister was great tho, she made a great effort cheering up the party, danced with all of us etc etc.

I once went to a wedding, and it was soo touching: both mothers in law were holding hands and crying together during the whole ceremony... (tears of happiness)... the couple looked very relaxed and in so in love... even shivering in emotion a little... and when the pastor said 'you maid kiss the bride' the literally jumped on each other and had a long kiss and the 25-30 people gathered broke down in applausses and cheers. Even the groom's dad and brother were crying next to each other. Then everybody went to hug them and it was not only a tap on the shoulder... there were hi-fives, singing, etc etc... I want something like that.

I know it sounds strange me being a male I feel concerned about all this--- usually girls worry more about this kind of stuff. but if i ever get married and have a wedding party and all that, I want to be on top of the situation, I'd love to be the ideal groom for my fioncee (wherever she is ;) ).

--- Please talk about ur personal experience if u r married.. if not, about what u've heard, seen, or what u'd like it to be like...

Answer 1

We were married in December of 1966. Things were different then. Our first dance was a montage of I Just Can't Help Falling In Love With You (Elvis), I Want to Hold Your Hand (Beatles)  and other love songs, so we slow danced, jitterbugged, and twisted during our first dance. We laughed and had fun through the dance and the entire reception. During the dance, we talked about the guests. Small reception, 80 people was the room's capacity. We stayed till the last guest left. Everyone was having so much fun that we hired the band for another hour. Neither set of parents approved. My parents did not attend, hers tried to be pleasant. We had a great time. And, yes, we sure did have s*x that night. We were so wired we had s*x 3 times before going to sleep, and 2 times the next morning. We are still together after 42 yrs and still laughing and having fun.  

Answer 2

During our wedding waltz, my new husband looked at me and said, "Howdy, stranger." I nearly fell over laughing! We'd been with other people all day - even during the ceremony, we didn't actually get to "talk" to each other besides exchanging vows! - so the waltz was the first time we said anything to each other out of earshot of everyone else. It was so sweet and so wonderful, especially b/c he followed it up by saying, "Would you like to get some fresh air and maybe a have a honeymoon?" :)

We both have a quirky sense of humor and I loved that he said what he did exactly when I did. I was so stressed with wedding stuff (knees knocking as I walked down the aisle, greeting every single person we knew and quite a few we'd never even met) and knowing that he had just the right words at just the right time melted my heart all over again. (Now how's that for schmaltzy?!)

Oh, and we left about halfway through the reception. There was no way I was going to eat (hi, nerves, nice to see you again!) and we were both eager to get to the honeymoon suite on the river and relax in the hot tub. :) We did the toasts, the cake thing, first dance, dance w/parents and then the bouquet/garter toss and left right after that. According to in-laws, the party went on for 2 more hours (they showed me pics of father-in-law doing the YMCA as proof), but we were drinking champagne in the hot tub and doing the soulful eye-gazing thing by then.

Good on you for thinking of stuff like this ahead of time. The gal of your dreams is waiting for a guy like you!

Answer 3

I'm getting married in 11 weeks and I am so excited. We have the perfect relationship. Some people mistake us for bestfriends because we play around so much.  I would imagine that during the waltz, my new hubby and I would talk about 'surviving the circus' as you call it lol. And maybe about the yucky dress my large aunt is wearing lol. I don't know if all newly married couples get it on on the wedding night but we have already discussed that if we don't, we'll do it in the morning lol. We already have 2 children together so it isn't a 'traditional' wedding anyway. We are not having anyone who we don't know to our wedding. They are all very close relatives or friends. (90 people in total)  I wouldn't want people I don't know to be there. Not really the type of event I want to be sharing with strangers.

I can't really answer about the maid of honour looking bored lol. Maybe she drank too much and couldn't move?

Some people/families are not as emotional as others. It probably depends on the family dyanamics and how close knit they all are. Our families are very tight so I'm expecting there to be a few happy tears.

I think its cute that you are looking forward to being married one day and you sound like you will make some girl very happy in the future. You will find her...it's usually when you least expect it!  

Answer 4

My husband I talked during almost our entire first dance. We talked about how we can;t believe this day came so fast, how weird it was to be the center of attention in front of 200+ guests all looking at us, we talked about how hungry we were, lol, all kinds of things!  As far as having so many guests, well, we are both from big Italian families, and it was important to have all of them there, my father had business associates that would have been quite offended to not have been invited, then there are guests of guests etc,,,it all adds up very quickly. I too have never been to a wedding where the bride and groom leave the reception early and the party goes on without them. Maybe that's something that used to be done in the past.  

Answer 5

I'm not sure about topics of conversation while they dance, but I'd imagine there's so much emotion and you're with someone that you love, you don't really need to say anything.  At that point you know what the other is thinking.

Consumation.  You're riding high on adrenaline from the day and certainly the body is tired but the mind is not.  I think it's up to the couple and it doesn't really matter if they do it in the car on the way to the reception, at the reception, that night or the next morning.

Some people invite business partners to weddings to tighten ties.  I agree, I tend to like weddings on a smaller scale, but for people with a lot of money they feel the need to show off and whatever, that's their business.

Answer 6

During our first day, we talked and laughed - it was just nice to have some alone time (we kind of ignored everyone watching!).

Ah, of course we made love on the wedding night, and during the night, and in the morning. Never too tired!

We had around 200 guests. Family, friends, work friends - and lots of extended family. Yes, sometimes there are people you don't know - but that's because parents might want to invite friends, neighbours, church friends - lots of times they have been to their friends' childrens' weddings, so they are being reciprocal.

The thing about when the couple leaves the wedding varies. I've attended well over 20, and all of them left before the end. For us, we really didn't plan a time - we had already done the bouquet/garter toss, and our guests had late lunch. I was dancing with a friend, and my husband just came and got me and said it was time to go.... so we did. It was probably about 11:30 - and the dancing probably went another hour.

I've never seen sad parents of either the bride or groom. All have been totally happy, friendly, and had fun at the weddings.

Our ceremony was really lovely and touching - over 250 people filled the church, too. Lots of happy tears from everyone - and for me the ultimate was once we were announced as Mr. and Mrs. - everyone in the church sang to us a traditional Ukrainian song, wishing us many happy years together. The joy just rose to the rafters!

No, it's not strange that you are thinking about these things, and noticing them. You have a big heart!

Answer 7

The conversations vary. We laughed about how funny the crowed looked. My very tiny white family stuck out like sore thumbs towering *physically* over his latin family which are all short, but there are TONES of them.

A lot of couples are far too tired not to make love on the wedding night. I personally find nothing wrong with that. Just hold one another and love one another, you have the rest of your lives together!

People like to show off at weddings, thats why they invite SO many different people. We are just having Friends and Family.

TRADITIONALLY the Bride and Groom are supposed to leave 45 mintes to an hour before the party ends, clean up happens while they are leaving and the guests are leaving.

Everyone handles weddings differently, it is very emotional for families, not just the Bride and Groom. That is why everyone has different emotions.

That is touching, sounds "fun", I am sure you will have it exactly as you wanted it. We are very traditional people and are having a very traditional wedding.

I don't find it strange at all.

Answer 8

I think they talk about exactly what you said, lol how lucky there are to have survived the circus and that nothing went wrong.. or hey did you notice what uncle bob was wearing or did you notice the preists wig toupee was falling off.. you know goofy stuff :)...

I would make love just to say i made love on my wedding night, it may suck for both of us becasue we are so tired, but atleast it was done lol

I do not understand this one either, it depends on the person.. i want just close friends an family and whoever they bring as guests.. children are welcome too!

I left before the reception at my sisters best friends wedding, i was tired and my son was being a t**d.  I think as long as you thank the bride and groom and congratulate them it doesnt matter, however if you are a close friend there should be a pretty good excuse for leaving early.

That was rude of her maid of honor, if she was cranky she still needs to smile an suck it up for the bride.. it isnt about her or her problems and i think she should have sacrafised a few hours for her friend.  An the inlaws are maybe jus the typical inlaws you hear about on tv, or they are just really stressed an tired, but same as the bride of honor... suck it up!  I hope i get along great with my inlaws.

That is the perfect wedding.. im very easy going so i dont care if the cake fals to the ground, or a kid starts crying right during the i do's, but i want it to mean something i want to really mean it when i say for better or worse and i want to feel like jumping on top of him and bawling my eyes out while we kiss..

I want my wedding to be stress free, an yea thats impossible but i dont want everyone to run around like maniacs, if something goes wrong oh well, i want there to be laughing an tears of joy.. an weirdly enough i dont mind the little giggles an conversations from children in the background.. i want to build memories, happy and even funny ones..   At my sisters best friends wedding, a hummingbird flew down and next to their heads while they where saing their vows.. they did not notice the bird.. it then flew up and just hung around for a few minutes before flying a way.. that is soo odd becasue hummingbirds often to not stick around long where humans are.  it was really beautiful.