What do u think about my poetry?

Question

I am From…

by kandyy

I am from the broken mirror

Of life that makes other

Reflect on themselves

From day to day.

I am from the drop

Of rain that lays

Upon the window

To the world waiting

To be seen.

I am from the darkness

Behind the shadows

That whispers the

Lies of the heart.

I am from the rose

poor and withered

From the past that is

Yet to fall in the future.

I am from the sorrow

Of love that makes

Me think about who I really

Am inside.

(p.s:kandyy is me my real name is kayla.)

Answer 1

I know that a lot of people are probably going to be like "I like it," or "Teh kewl," but I hope by asking this question, you were prepared for an honest opinion, because honestly, it's horrible. It's such a mess that I don't know where to even begin. Almost all of your verses end at an awkward point; i.e.:

1.

Of life that makes other

Reflect on themselves

2.

That Whispers the

Lies of the heart

3.

From the past that is

Yet to fall in the future.

You shouldn't use definite or indefinite articles at the end of a verse, but before the subject. On top of it all, it makes no sense. It's word salad; pretentious poetry. It doesn't have to rhyme, but it should have a flow; and any flow that it might have is completely disrupted by those awkward verses.

UPDATE:

Penehamine N, go ahead and prefix your opinions by touting yourself as a professional poet, but winning a handful of awards at anything hardly makes a person a professional. That's like calling yourself a doctor after getting your CPR certification. Hey, I won a few karate trophies when I was six years old, does that mean I could expect a call from Black Belt magazine asking for an interview? And why don't the Chicago Cubs want me on their team with all of those MVP trophies I got when I was in Little League?

Poetry is only as good as the audience says it is. A slam poet should know that, and I'm a member of the audience just as well as you.

Answer 2

I like it, it's good for an amateur . It's pretty and your doing well. keep up the great poems!

Can you help me?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

i was expecting amateur garbage...

i was wrong :)

pretty good!! i liked it.

Answer 4

It's good Kayla

Answer 5

ur really good! go girl!!!!!!!

Answer 6

DON'T listen to Jazz hands...the dude is a WANNABE poet.  I am a professional poet, who has won numerous awards for my poetry performances (slam poetry) and I just want to say...that you have real talent a.  Poems don't have to ryhme or do any of the other gobbledegook that Jazz hands rambles on about.  True poetry comes from the wairua (spirit).  Keep it up...one day we will read about you as a famous poet, while Jazz hands is still a wannabe moaning on here.

Answer 7

Your poetry is really depressing.

I can tell you're really good at writing poetry

but why don't you write about happier things and

experiences?