What do u think about this poem i have wrote ?

Question

"Sweet Michigan"

Every so peaceful

Classical music playing constantly

Trees swaying back and forth in rhythm

Plants,Trees, and pastures, bountiful and giving.

The warmth of the people's kindness blows me away.

The lake air tastes like ruby red warm crabs.

Gazing into the salty body of water,

The moon's light reflecting my sad face.

Crying,

My distant family says goodbye.

Love, expensive and smooth as silk.

Till next year,

Shall i feel the hot sticky air in summer.

Answer 1

It's pretty but does the lake air really taste like ruby red warm crabs?  

Answer 2

"Sweet Michigan"

by...

Every so peaceful  <---- Ever

Classical music playing constantly  (describe from where)

Trees swaying back and forth in rhythm

Plants,Trees, and pastures, bountiful and giving.  (remove redundant trees, not capitalized either)

The warmth of the people's kindness blows me away.

(blows me away is non-descriptive. You show that you can describe without resorting to cliche' -- so SHOW me the feeling)

The lake air tastes like ruby red warm crabs. <-- shocker; but I've never been to Michigan, nor considered warm crabs particularly aromatic - but I'm allergic to all sea food -- it's good to stun your readers with an unexpected description, as you did.

Gazing into the salty body of water,

The moon's light reflecting my sad face.

Crying,

My distant family says goodbye.

Love, expensive and smooth as silk.  <-- cliche'

Till next year,

Shall i feel the hot sticky air in summer. <-- I is always capitalized.

Good work.  Keep going.

T.