What do u think of my poem? Be honest and not afraid to critique hard! Love poem?

Question

When we first talked, you said it was a pleasure

The first time you looked in my eyes, you said you understood the fear

When you kissed me, you said you couldnt leave me

I cheated on you, you said we will get through it

But when I found your pills,

you said you regret it, should of never met me, you were just trying to hurt me, that it was over

But as we walked the park last night and I looked you in your eyes you asked me to marry you

I didnt know what to say

So I replied

It would be a pleasure, I would never hurt you, Well get through it, I love you!

Answer 1

it's a really cute poem and i like it a lot.

but you should say "I looked you in the eyes" not "in your eyes"

i know that's probably not what you're actually looking for lol...

but yeah.. i like it a lot ^^

Answer 2

it was clever how you fit everything in the ending. The story it told was sad but i liked it. It needs more words to make it flow, maybe some imagery or vocabulary. Other than that it is great.

Answer 3

nice!

Answer 4

some more sentimental words can be poured in the poem for a better get up.

Answer 5

i actually like it. it doesnt really fit the "poem" format but it's really cute and i love the ending!