What do u think of my poem? opinions...?

Question

"Is There Light in the Dark?"

The sun brightens the day

The moon shines in the night

A candle is your light

When you are surrounded by the dark

If you’re ever in the shadows

Feeling blackness all around

When you need a candle to guide you home

Remember I’ll be here

I am your sun.

its a poem i just wrote and i wanted some opinions on it. feel free to share.

Answer 1

its good

but i don't rele feel a rythem to it

but thats just me

words are great tho

answer mine?

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 2

cool xD

Answer 3

nice

Answer 4

good :]

Answer 5

umm not bad...like it =]

Answer 6

I like it a lot :)

Answer 7

That's a really good poem. I like it a lot. Very well constructed, and very well worded. But, for structure purposes, maybe you should let the last line have it's own stanza. Like so:

"The sun brightens the day

The moon shines in the night

A candle is your light

When you are surrounded by the dark

If you’re ever in the shadows

Feeling blackness all around

When you need a candle to guide you home

Remember I’ll be here

I am your sun."

It makes it look better. =]

Answer 8

beautiful :]

Answer 9

its BEAUTIFUL   i actually almost cried   you should definately write some more and put on here for me to read   im a poetry junkie