What do u think of this poem I wrote?

Question

Releasing My Addiction

It's this drug that I can't get over

Lord knows its not healthy

Yet it takes over me

Pours into my mind like poisonous liquid

Invades my thoughts like nightmares

This drug is so good, all I ever wanted

All I ever needed

I've been on and off this drug for some time now

It fulfills me, makes me whole

Yet its no good

Oh this drug is the best thing that came into my life

So addicting, so dangerous

I can't let go, i'm not ready

This drug gives me a rush that I never experienced with any other drugs

What's so special about this drug

Why am I feigning for something so deadly

At one point I went cold turkey, but

No I had to reminisce about the highs that I had

The non stop pleasure

The sensations going thru my body

While flowing thru me

I'm happy and on cloud nine

d**n, I gotta get it out of my system

Lord knows I'm not getting any better

But when I think about it this drug is letting me go

Telling me its time, that i've had enough

But I'm not ready

Oh this drug, this wonderful drug, so pure yet, tainted

My mind wants more

But my heart wants less

At some point I have to release my addiction

Answer 1

It's a good poem over all. I like your use of similes. One thing I could say is that you should keep your lines relatively the same length. Like in the 2nd stanza there are some lines that are really long and some that are short. You should probably shorten/lengthen some lines. But, as I said before, it's a good poem.

Answer 2

Speaks to any form of addiction, including love. The lack of control, and the dark yearning desire... yet, you appear to be grasping on to hope, which leaves the reader feeling that all is not lost. Well done.

Much love always,

Temari

Answer 3

wow this is really good...um kinda...sad?...are you talking bout a real drug or something that is just addicting or something...idk

Answer 4

Great job, you should really submit it to http://www.papertank.com and see what they think.

I bet you could get a high rating for it on there!