Question:

What do u think of this poem >?

by  |  earlier

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the relaxing pitter patter against the windows. The cool wind blowing by as she sits there not cold or afraid. His arms around her a the thunder gets louder and harder ,he held her tighter .the cool wind blew though a half opened window .the fresh sent of outside now filling the room. Although his body was chilly in side was a felling of warmth & happiness knowing someone was there knowing he was someone who loves her enough to keep her safe from the sounds outside that the rain had caused ,the storm now becoming louder and freighting ,she got closer to him as he reach in for a kiss to show her he was still there keeping her safe .he wondering mind now at calmed and at peace. As they sat there together listening to the rain .She falls asleep in him arms ,hearing nothing but his heart beat and the soft pitter patter of the rain.

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3 ANSWERS


  1. It's alright.  I would suggest making all the verb tenses agree -- personally, I'd go with present tense.  Then, you need to get the spelling right: "through," "feeling," "frightening,"

    Though there's not a lot of depth here, you're setting up a pretty nice image.  I like the last 2 lines (though "Him" should be "his").  


  2. Very descriptive. All that left is to put it in a proper form. The reason being, it will cause the reader to have a natural pause. This will give them a moment to reflect on what their reading.

    Good job.

      

  3. This is not bad. It's not poetry, but it's not bad. Don't be lazy with the shift key. That makes the whole thing juvenile. You have writing abilities. The thing to do now is read.

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