What do u think of this poem i made? it's entitled as "A Serpent's Labyrinth".comments & opinions please.tnx

Question

wandering through d ruins of d past

hope is gone,nothing left even a dust

tears fell as I gaze upon d grey skies

had enough 2 roll another dice

nver thought dis wil hurt me so much

should I suffer 4 giving all my trust?

so u betrayed me,as u always did

feed me more apathy,den watch me bleed

d words we whispered in d ears of d lords

just lingered at d walls of dark corridors

i've searched 4 a bag of love & conscience

but I got enslaved behind ur cold fences

playing blind 2 those s***s you put me through

scenes of vituperation 4 me's not new

i've let my neck strangled & learned how 2 take

yet in d end,u're d 1 who turned 2 snake

now,unwrap me from ur cruel fingers

who anguish souls 4 its own desires

let me go out of dis mist-filled labyrinth

so dat I will learn again how 2 breathe

worse than a traitor who slew it's own brethren

dis foolishness shall meet its fateful end

now, as this tears keep drowning me in despair

tormented,blindfolded,I seek d open air

Answer 1

Truthfully, I couldn't read beyond the first two stanzas because I found it so incredibly annoying that you wrote "d" instead of "the", and "dis" instead of "this". Even if you speak English with a foreign accent, it's customary to use correct spelling in the written word. Mis-spellings are distracting and make the writer sound ignorant, which is probably not your intention.

Answer 2

Sorry, but to be honest, it's total p*sh!

Answer 3

Out of curiosity, why the usage of '2' and 'u' and 'dis' and '4'?

Answer 4

I love it. Bloody brilliant! So evocative and the imagery? Wow! Wonderful work...thank you for sharing!

Answer 5

This is like something from A Clockwork Orange! Alex, is that you? Your grammar is off the hook, man! Loved it!