What do we do first?

Question

So I got engaged about three weeks ago, and I'm trying to get started planning, but I'm not sure on what thing. Should we set the date first, then look for a reception/ceremony venue? Or should we choose a date range that we would be happy with, select the reception/ceremony venue, and then officially set the date? We are planning on getting married late September, early October 2009, we just don't have date picked yet. My fiance thinks we should pick a venue, then pick the date, but I want to pick a date now :) Thank you so much for your help!

Answer 1

Lots of good suggestions.  Oh Vey has the best suggestion as to where to begin first.  I can attest to that.....

I think you need to decide if the church or reception venue is more important and schedule that date first.  I suggest the church date and time.  Have a "range" in mind.

I remember calling the church and thinking, No problems....Until the wedding coordinator started flipping through the months......and I ended up with August 15th....I didn't choose it, it chose me.  It was either that day or sometime in October.....  And at that you will then be asked the time slot.  I, at least knew, we wanted a day wedding (not so morning and not an evening ceremony) -- so I chose an 11:00 or so ceremony (10 years ago so I can't remember the exact time, but it was early enough to end to go and have a mid-late lunch).

For me, the reception venue was not as important as the ceremony venue.  We found that there were several acceptable venues available for the date and time (as it was a daytime affair).

After you pick the church date, then do the budget and reception/venue stuff.  Everything else will fall into place. Cognratluations.

Answer 2

Date range, then find out when your officiant and venue are both available, and pick the date based on that set.

Answer 3

How wonderful!

First thing to do is set the budget. Then decide on who must absolutely be invited. Those two factors will determine a lot of things.

For example, summer weddings cost more than spring weddings - you may decide to have your wedding during the "off season" so your budget will go further.  If you choose a wedding during the school year, some of your guests may not be able to attend which will cut down on your guest list and how much you would need to spend on the reception.

Once the budget and "must invite" list is together, then decide on a couple of dates (first choice and back-up dates) and start shopping for your wedding location and reception venue and see what's available for your dates.

Best wishes!

Answer 4

Congratulations!  Well, you should come up with a range you are happy with and then look for a place.  You can come up with an ideal date and hope that your ideal place has it open, but it may not always work that way.  Hopefully it will.

Go on www.weddingwire.com or www.theknot.com and check them out, they have lots of ideas and helpful planning things.

Answer 5

Start with church (if you're using one) and the venue.  Go with the general month you want the wedding and then you'll find out what's available.  

October books very quickly for weddings.  Move quick.

Answer 6

Get a honeymoon location.

Answer 7

Everyone will be asking for your wedding date, and some online bridal sites may require one as part of the registration process, so you might want to pick a date just for that purpose.  But DON’T give it out to family and friends until it’s really confirmed.    If you say, “We’ve set the date, but we’re not really sure …” they may think there’s some uncertainty about the marriage.  Conversely, they might jump the gun and start making travel plans.  Things will go much more smoothly if you say that you're planning an autumn wedding in 2009, and then ask those whom you want to include in the wedding party to check their calendars for September and October.  Close family and friends should be able clear their schedules to some extent, but if your best friend’s sister is getting married around the same time, you’ll probably want to choose a different day.   Also, if you know whom you want to officiate at your wedding, you should check his or her schedule as soon as possible (along with the church or place of worship, if that’s important to you).  At that point, you may find that you need to set your date based on unavoidable scheduling factors.   If not, you can wait until you're a little further along in the planning process.

Setting the budget should be your next priority.  Once you know what you can afford, you’ll have a better idea of how many guests you can invite and what size venues you’ll need for the wedding and reception.  A lot of places will be booked a year in advance, so within a few months you’ll probably want to have your sites locked in.  At that point, you can start announcing the date.  

The Knot (at theknot.com) is a great resource as you make these decisions. It provides useful timetables and lots of ideas for planning your wedding, your reception and your honeymoon.  Its sister site, The Nest, is also a great resource as you prepare for married life.

Good luck!

Answer 8

Well honestly, it depends on which is more important to you. If you have your heart set on a venue, then you're going to have to be flexible with your date in case they are booked. If there's a special date you really want, then you may have to settle for a different venue. For our wedding, we had to set a specific date - I'm finishing my last year of college and my moh is from Germany and goes to school there, so we had to work around both of our schedules. However, it sounds from your question that you are eager and excited to have the date set so you can start the countdowns and telling everyone. Of course this is understandable - getting married is exciting! But, you really should be booking your venue now anyways, so if I were you, I would go look at your options and reserve your location and date soon. :) Good luck!

Answer 9

go here I promise you will be thanking me later.. Its a online wedding planner and it helps you with everything. I am getting married and planning it also .. . WWW.THEKNOT.COM

it will provide you with a checklist on what to start doing right know....and  congratulations!!!!!

Answer 10

Congrats :)

1. Here's the budget file I use... change the fields accordingly but first look at everything: http://www.vertex42.com/Links/go.php?url...

2. Get a wedding planner book or just use online ones. Better yet go to a wedding show and they usually give it for free.

All details are in the book or online: http://www.blissweddings.com/wedding_pla...

3. no point in setting a date when you haven't even found a reception hall to tell you if they're available or not. decide on a month (date range) and go with that :)

Another thing, just post ads on your local website's craigslist for florists, photography etc and see who gives you good deals and use those prices as negotiation tool later on.

All the best :)

Answer 11

The most important thing to do is set your budget because everything else will depend on what your budget is. Sit down with your fiance and go over your total lump sum of what you can afford. If you think parents will be assisting with costs, then you need to have this conversation with them as well, as uncomfortable as it can be sometimes. Very important! Then figure out what your priorities are, and have some idea of what you would prefer over other things. For example, if a designer gown is really important to you, be prepared to cut costs on other things like photography and music/entertainment. Having a list of priorities helped me SO much because it kept me focused on what I really wanted.

Second, pick a month when you want to get married, but don't set a date. Visit a few venues when you guys have time after doing some research online. When you have it narrowed down to two or three venues, then set your date with what they have available.

Before or after you pick a venue, discuss what kind of theme or feel you want for your wedding. Traditional or modern? Casual or elegant? This will either help you chose your venue, pr your venue can chose this look for you (meaning you'll know what kind of style you want when you see the perfect venue).

After that, pick your colors. Your colors should compliment your venue, but always keep in mind that you should love them. There's always a way to make colors look good with a venue, so go with what you want.

Then choose your wedding party. It's best to ask them in person if they live within driving distance. If they live far away, phone is the best ettiquette.

That should keep you more than busy for the next two months or so :) After you get those things down, you'll know what else you have to do.

Congratulations and best of luck!

Answer 12

Pick a date; but then be willing to change it based on your venue. I had to change mine because of that.

Answer 13

Well it depends on what is more important to you.  The date or the venue.  For me I really wanted to get married on 06/07/08 so I chose that and then planned around that.  If you have your heart set on a venue then I would have a date range that is acceptable to you.  Good luck with all your planning and remember to enjoy every minute of it!  Don't get too stressed out, its a lot of fun!  =)

Answer 14

Hi and congratulations on your engagement!

I am in total agreement with Sheryl S.  Pick a date, but be willing to be flexible depending on the venue you choose and what they have available.

Good luck!