Question:

What do we do with these children?

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I have 3 children and my husband has two. I am not at all saying that my children are perfect, but I was a single mom for a long time so my children have pretty much been used to cleaning their own room , doing a few chores, etc. My husbands 2 children on the other hand, are really rebellious and have such an attitude. All through the summer, the 14 year old daughter had so many clothes bought for her on so many different occassions. (she stays with us every other week). But she is telling my husband she has no clothes when I and his mother know this to not be true. But she tries to get him to feel sorry for her. She does not want to abide by our rules, neither of them do, they don't want to do any chores, have any respect for me at all. The girl over eats dramatically and she is very much obese and even the doctor told her she was lazy and for health reasons needed to push herself away from the table. She sees it as though I pick at her, when I am trying to look out for her health when I tell her no more servings of food tonight. She will tell me one thing and when I go to my husband she will say that I am lying. When he makes rules the kids will come to me and fuss at me as if I made the rule when I didn't. Both of them are very disrespectful.And his son has a habit of telling everyone that they are a fagget. My husband just text me and told me that his son got my 8 year old daughter on the ground and was hitting her. He is 10. I have had enough and I do not know what to do. I really feel like at times my husband babies them. I know I am fed up with those kids and I have tried for 2 years to be there for them and help them in the many times that their mother has abandoned them due to drugs, prostitution, etc. But she always comes back the judge always allows her to take them and they defend her and even mistreat my husband. He is a very good man. No drugs, works hard to give us all what we need, takes us on family trips etc. He is also soft and he lets them get the best of him and even feels bad for punishing them. But they need it. I do not want to spank them but at the same time I do. His daughter is always putting his ex - wife (not her mother) in the middle of us. We change our number and she will give it out, or sneaks to call her. They were not together a year and the ex is VERY manipulating. I am at whitts end. My children love my husband and never treat him this way and are so glad to have him in their life. They on the other hand, their own father treat him as nothing more than a money bag. And they have no disrespect at all for me and no respect for our rules, always threatening to move out.

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  1. Don't put the girl down bc she over eats ,its probably a emotionall eater and can't help it .I do that to eat allot and so depressed I hardly ever want to exercise in stead of not letting her eat so much food ask her if she would like to go to the gym with you and then wance shes there maybe she will want to exersise


  2. WOW! You must be living my life.First of all the entire family needs sit together and face to face write down all the things  you admire in each other and five things you would like each person to WORK on.

    My problem was my hubby was gone and working a lot.So this put me in the postion as discplinarian.Which is NOT good he has to be the one to stand up.Mine always felt as though we only saw her a little bit so he never would be they all need to abide by certain rules.Its hard.The rest of the kids even though they are not or may be over weight have to support her and eat the HEALTHY things also.

    DO NOT MAKE SNACKS available ..except for carrots/celery/salads

    fruit tons of it!! those are the options for everyone no exception!!

    There needs to be list of rules and guidlines on the fridge with how things are done and what is expected you do not do them you do not get a reward suck as extra half hour of tv or something thats important to them?

    You and your hubby have to stand together!!he has to agree with it all or it wont work.The kids will drive a wedge between you if you let them its thier goal because they like to have their way and the single parent by themselves w all the attention.I do agree each child needs attention also.They should get one day a month with each parent if possible ..i know its hard.Maybe mom take the daughter to do pottery ,a park lunch something the child choses.

    so they are getting the individual attention.They need this.On saturdays i use to take daughter to lunch and movie or whatever she decided(until she didnt want me anymore her friends were more important i got pushed aside..lol)

    good luck its hard ive been there walked in your shoes....with two different step kids and two exwives...with my hubby when i met him..But ive been w him for 23 yrs

  3. big problem.  family therapy needed so you all learn to live together productively by agreed on rules.  no excuses for not doing so. and if their dad refuses to participate in this, then he's the #1 problem.

  4. You and your husband certainly need to work together. It sounds to me that his children are doing well at manipulating you both and trying whatever they have to come between you. You have to stand together!!!

    If your husband loves you and respects your marriage he will put a stop to this and step up more. He needs to get those children under control.

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