What do ya think of the po'em below?(my po'em)?

Question

Upon the soaring wings of a flying beast

The knight landed on the vast tree-less plain

Sitting on his stout but elegant mount

He cautiously followed the narrow lane

He could see no one, and hear no sound

But he felt the savage gaze of a foe

Following his tail with every step

As if in the form of a black, grim crow

His mount, a creature unknown to many

strolled with pride, with its head held high

an ingenious blend of many beasts

Unrivalled on land, a lord of the sky

its strength surpassing a hundred steeds

its flight majestic, a glorious sight

with its black, crooked beak and sturdy paws

It spread fear when soaring in the height

An ancient lone-oak stood by the lane

providing a precious oasis of shade

And on its wizen bark one could see

strange engravings carved by a blunt blade

“Now we shall rest here, under a tree”

Stated the pleased knight to his weary mount

And he retreated to the dark shades

that had saved him a bit of resting ground

The pleasant oak-shade was overly sacred

standing in a sea of sunlight and heat haze

and its golden, gleaming acorns hung

attracting an eerie but forceful gaze

for they all bore a charm, evil and strong

by the will of the Govonian king

A curse had corrupted the noble tree deep

To enchant every earthly being

The knight was dragged into a hazy sleep

by the tantalizing gleam of the fruits

and he was drowned in dreams dim

deaf from the nightly squeaks and hoots

in his dreams he traveled to lands grim

and fought heroically in battles grand

He encountered beings strange and unknown

far over the oceans, in a distant land

The lights had begun to fade in the plain

And the bloody sun was drifting low

Yet the knight was still lying asleep

unaware of his lurking foe

Silently a shadow began to creep

From the dark bottom of the tree

A massive and black serpent-root

And such a ruthless creature was she

But all her wicked hopes flew away

For the silence was shattered by a cry

And crawling aside, it saw in dread

The Eaglio descending from the sky

With beating wings the grey figure sped

And with sharp, gleaming claws it came

It’s fury released like a turbulent tide

to wash away the malice of a flame

Throughout the long night, the stars witnessed

The battle of loyalty and malice

And they blinked at the plain with anxiousness

Waiting for the long-awaited justice

(To be continued…)

Answer 1

dear oml,  if it is yours really, great great wonderful

fantasico,

and lots of  luck to u

== param of  sunflowerdance.com/poetry

Answer 2

It's really long, but it's good!

Answer 3

I inserted words and phrases with parentheses to show you where.  Poor wording or PW also have parentheses around them.  When I say PW, to me, the whole line needs to be reworked.  It is coming, have patience.

Upon the soaring wings of(his) flying beast

The knight landed on the vast, treeless plain

Sitting on his (strong and majestic) mount

He cautiously followed the narrow lane

(no one could be seen, nor likewise a) sound

But he felt the savage gaze of a foe

Following his (trail) with every step

As if in the form of a black (winged) crow

His mount, a creature unknown to many

strolled with (grace), with its head held high

an ingenious blend of many beasts

Unrivalled on land, a lord of the sky

its strength surpassing a hundred steeds

its flight majestic, a glorious sight

with its black, (angled) beak and sturdy paws

It spread fear when soaring in the (light)

An ancient lone oak stood by the lane

providing a (cooling) oasis of shade

And on its wizen bark one could see

strange engravings carved by (blunted) blade

“Now we shall rest here, under (this) tree”

Stated the pleased knight to his weary mount

And he retreated to the dark shades (poor wording)

that had saved him a bit of resting ground (pw)

The pleasant oak-shade was overly sacred  (pw overly sacred?)

standing in a sea of ( a sunlit warmish) haze

and its golden, gleaming acorns hung (pw)

attracting an eerie but forceful gaze (pw)

for they all bore a charm, evil and strong

by the will of the Govonian king

A curse had corrupted the noble tree deep (pw)

To enchant every earthly being (pw)

The knight was (drugged) into a hazy sleep

by the tantalizing gleam of the fruits

and he was drowned in dreams dim

deaf from the nightly squeaks and hoots (pw)

in his dreams he traveled to lands grim

and fought heroically in battles grand

He encountered beings strange and unknown

far over the oceans, in a distant(lands)

The lights had begun to fade in the plain

And the bloody sun was drifting low

Yet the knight was still lying asleep

unaware of his lurking foe

Silently a shadow began to creep

From the dark bottom of the tree

A massive and black serpent-root

And such a ruthless creature was she (pw)

But all her wicked hopes flew away

For the silence was shattered by a cry

And crawling aside, it saw in dread

The Eaglio descending from the sky

With beating wings the grey figure sped

And with sharp, gleaming claws it came

It’s fury released like a turbulent tide

to wash away the malice of a flame (pw)

Throughout the long night, the stars witnessed

The battle of loyalty and malice

And they blinked at the plain with anxiousness

Waiting for the long-awaited justice

(To be continued…)