She is suddenly treating you like you like a "2nd thought"?
Sorry this is so long folks...
I thought had a close friendship with this person. When she got married I knew things would change and they did. But she always denied it whenever I brought anything up. She no longer would go out like before (unless its her idea), hardly has time to talk on the phone - unless she calls me, and even then its all about her mainly and what she and her husband have recently purchased or where they plan to travel or remodel or whatever and as soon as I start to say anything about me or happenings in my life she doesn't have the time and needs to hang up the phone. Like as if to say that now that she is married she is too busy for me or meanial things. Yet they seem to have time to hang out with and go on trips with other married couples. She always told me before she and her husband were married that our friendship would not change...she would always treat me the same way and no matter what I would still be a part of her life as friends should be. Now its like since I am single, I'm not good enough. I have been getting this strange vibe for a while from her husband too...going on close to a year now...but I thought he was just being a guy. Now within the past few months she has been acting this way towards me too. I don't know why suddenly the change? I don't really know if it could it be something I did or said? She has never told me. Could it be simply because I am single and they are a couple? I thought that was possible but she always told me that she remembers what it is like to be single and she would not treat me the way her married friends used to treat her when she was single....but suddenly she is doing just that. So instead of bringing all this up to them (I thought I was blowing things out of proportion in my own mind) I suppressed these feelings thinking things would go back to normal...but after recent events this weekend (I will spare you the details and avoid making this longer) I am beginning to think it isn't just me. When I tried to call her and just casually talk about the "situation"...she was suddenly too busy and they were getting ready to sit down to eat dinner. She never offered to call back just said she had to go. So then we hung up and not 10 minutes later she started forwarding me a bunch of emails (jokes and junk) so I knew she was on line. I wrote her real quick and did not get a response back and consequently the forwards stopped too.
I am thinking I should just back off for awhile and not call her, email or go around them for awhile and see if that will change anything? And, just let them wonder what happened to me for a change. Maybe then I will be able to have more of a chance to talk to her calmly when she is ready and then I will know she is really listening to what I am saying. What do you think? Do you think that would work? Or should I approach them now and just get everything out in the open? I don't want to cause undue conflicts...I hate drama...I just don't want to be treated like a 2nd thought anymore. She acts like our friendship is something she's obligated to do...not because she wants to be a friend, but because she thinks she has to be. I don't want anyone thinking that they "have to be" around me. If she isn't happy then maybe this needs to be dealt with. But how do I bring it up without her getting defensive with me. I just want to talk things out. We have always been able to work things out before...now its different, sort of like she doesn't care anymore. This hurts...any suggestions?
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