What do you do about public temper tantrums?

Question

Well, today was embarrassing. I was shopping and I had my 4 year old with me. She wanted me to buy her something, and I told her se could not have it. She had an absolute fit. She was pushing things off the shelf and just having a fit. I removed her from the store. We actually went home. She had a fit all the way there. When we got there and she calmed down, I had a talk with her. Then, she received a spanking for acting out the way she did. After the spanking I made her sit in timeout for a while and think about. I hope this does not happen again. Do you think I helped prevent it from happening in the future? What do you do when this happens?

Answer 1

I think you handled it quite right. The main odea is that she can't get what she wants by throwing a tantrum, and you took care of that.

Answer 2

I think you handled it well. I would have done the same thing, except I don't spank. I can't say you've prevented it from ever happening again in the future- they all have their bad days but I think you did the right thing. I once had to leave a cart full of stuff at Target because of a fit my son threw so don't feel bad- most of us have been there. =]

Answer 3

Happens to the best of us, Mom.

I let my children know ahead of time, that we're not buying any toys for them today (that's usually what my daughter asks for).  I let my son and daughter pick out one grocery item that's not on my list to buy (box of goldfish crackers, etc).  They know what to expect prior to our shopping excursion so their not shocked, when I say "no" to their demands.

It's also important to go shopping when your daughter is not tired or hungry.  Public temper tantrums are deeply humiliating (my son has autism, so I've been there) but hopefully with some planning, preventable.

Answer 4

Your response was on target. Maybe a little harsh for a 4-yr-old, but it surely made an impression.

Removing her from the store  should always be the first move, so good for you.

My son had tantrums when he was a toddler, including turning blue and passing out. We found out he was allergic to cow's milk and switched to goat's milk. That doesn't sound like your situation.

Answer 5

i did the exact same as you when My two year old did the same thing!.......I really hope she doesn't do it again but I have a feeling it could definately happen again......I think you did the right thing.....just be consistant.......my daughter knows the rules and recites them: no screaming no crying.....but it doesn't always prevent the tantrums......we just have to deal with them appropriately and wait it out.

Answer 6

When a child acts out in the store all though you dont think so people arent really paying attention to your childs tempertantrum they are paying attention to your reaction to the tantrum.... They are trying to see if you are going to let your child walk all over you or if you are going to be calm and collected or if you are going to go absolutely crazy on your child.... Stay calm and collected until you are alone with your child.... The child does it to try to get her way and if she gets what she wants than she will keep on doing it... The only way she will stop is to not pay attention to her.... Yes it is embarassing but if you give into her she will always do it because she knows she is getting what she wants.... Well all children throw their tantrums.... So dont think that all the moms dont know what is going on.... Just know that they know what you are going through.... Trust me I am a mom too..

Answer 7

Im sorry you had to go through tthat. I think you handled it well except when you left the store you told her basically that she is getting her own way. WHat kind of lesson did she learn if you removed her from the situation. You should have taken her outside and dealt with her out there. Then when she calmed down let her know you guys were going back in and she WILL behave or there will be more consequences. But im rpoud of you that yo udidnt give in to what she wanted and confronted it right there. Kudos to you. The other day I went to a resteraunt with my one year old and he didnt want to sit in his seat. Well I could either let him have his own way and be quiet, or make him sit there and risk embarassment. Well I made him sit there and me running from it and not adressing it right there would never teach him to have proper manners in a resterant. And he cried and I was embarassed but we dealt with it and he go it eventually. Oh by the way. The best way to deal with other peoples stares is not not look at them. I keep my eye contact away from others and pay them no attention and it really helps me deal with it. Good luck mama.

Answer 8

Immediately remove her from the store, just as you did. While I disagree with the spanking, that is your choice as the parent. I think you did exactly what you needed to. Good job parent!

Answer 9

I think that you did a good thing in removing her from the store.  However, I use to find the first wall/stairs and give the time out right there.  The additional punishment was that they were not bought anything for several days - no candy, toys, hair accessories, etc.

Good job Mom.

Answer 10

In my opinion the issue should have been addressed right then and there at the store in Mid-fit! Waiting until you got home to punish her for her actions gave her time to think it was alright to do and probably wondered why she got punished at home. I know you said you talked to her about it but that doesn't mean that she understood her spanking and time out was due to her fits at the store.

As soon as the child acts out that is when you address the issue and punish her for it right then and there. Don't give her time to rethink it and think its acceptable to do.

When you punish children as soon as the problem occurs it teaches them that that is unacceptable and this will be the outcome everytime this happens.

When my oldest daughter(almost 4) acts out in public,right after she starts I give her a spank and tell her that is wrong and she will not get what she wants when she throws a fit. Its not wrong to spank your child I don't care what anyone says! A talking to is NOT gonna solve a temper tantrum,the only thing is it going to do is make them think they can continue this when they don't get their way and just get a talking to instead of an ACTUAL punishment. Spanking her butt in the store when it happens is much better than having to pay for 10 jars of pickles that she broke during one of her temper tantrums!

Good Luck...you did do the right thing as far as punishing her and taking her home but I would switch the order of them for better results.

Answer 11

I hope that helped. Public temper tantrums aren't just a headache for the parent, they're embarrassing and a headache for everybody around. You handled it in a very good manner though, I worked retail, and I've seen several parents punish their children right there on the spot..which obviously only made the situation worse.

I hope she learned her lesson, because there's really no way to see them coming or prevent them.

Answer 12

nothing wrong with a timely spanking. and you did the right thing by removing her from the store.  good luck!

Answer 13

I have always told my children that they need to put it on their list(birthday, Christmas, Easter Bunny...). And I always found that the tone of voice you use with your children can make a big difference, for instance if you sound like you want an arguement, you WILL get it, don't automatically take on that "no, you can't have it" attitude, tell them straight up, that it is a nice toy(or whatever) and tell them it is not on our shopping list today, I did not bring enough money, and say it calmly. I had some people look at me in shock one day when I told my young twins they could not have some items and they said "ok" and put them back! One woman was like "how did you do that?" I'm not saying my kids are perfect, but that is one area that I never seemed to have a problem with! And I think if it does happen, then removing them immediately is the best action. Good Luck!