What do you do after cheating?

Question

recently i have cheated on my wife and feel ike I did it because I am no longer in love with her. i care about her but not in love. I want to leave but we have a child and I don't want to leave my child and my wife's feelings will be hurt. she does not know about the incident but I have told her I want to separate and she is devastated. I wish not to hurt her but I have.

Answer 1

What's done is done.  Your not in love with her so leave and get a lawyer so you can fight for custody of your child.  Don't keep leading your wife on.

Answer 2

Since when is marriage about being in love?

Who would want to be married to a woman after cheating on her?

You have a mess...and you can be a man and fix it or back out slowly and begin the decline of the rest of your life.

Honestly...we all make mistakes. And not tending to a marriage so that the love stays alive is YOUR mistake.

Your kid will suffer. She will suffer. And even if you think otherwise, you will. There is no second chance. Your life will never get better assuming your wife isn't a drunk or addict.

I once got divorced. I once fell out of love. Yeah, I have had fun since. But as a whole, life doesn't get better with another person. It just is different.

Grow up. Suck it up...Be honest with why you don't want to be married. Marriage is about maturity and committment to do the right thing. In this country, divorce is like going through drive through at Taco Bell. You think you can order different everyday and all is good. It isn't.

Looking back, I probably should have stayed. Fixed my mess. I have worked for 15 years to fix it. And still it is painful and life hasn't gone well for me as a whole. (and I am relatively successful)...but imagine what I could have been.

Maybe you never loved your wife. Sometimes you can't fix dead. Can't say on that. It was my reason for leaving. But...if there was ever attraction...and you both are committed, then it is fixable. If not, then be alone.

Believe me, cheating is the biggest sign of character flaw there is. If you cheat on spouse, you will cheat on job and life. Really.

Grow up now...you have a choice...and if you ignore what I am saying, it is ok. No one listens till they are ready. But one day you will hear the universal truth that I have just shared with you.

Every act we commit is with us for life. Be careful of what you allow yourself to sink too.

Answer 3

You guys should resolve this amicably. (its difficult) But then you are sorry if you weren't you won't be sharing with us. Make her understand this. Seperation or divorce should not always be about HATRED & BITTERNESS!! Tell her you have cheated she would respect you the more than when she hears it outside and that you need some time apart to think about your marriage.(still very difficult) but then good luck

Answer 4

If your not in love with her then divorce her. A separation can still leave her with false hope of you getting back together. Tell her you don't love her anymore but will care about her no matter what. I wouldn't mention the cheating though unless you and her patch things up. That could really hurt her much worse.

Answer 5

Definitely shower.

Answer 6

Well, you pack your bags and walk away... You visit your child often and stay in her life.... But your wife deserves better than a walking STD in her home...

You may hurt her by leaving, but how will she feel in her next check up to find out that she has an STD, yet she has been faithful.... Or how would you think she would enjoy someone telling her that they saw you hanging all over some woman... OR, how do you think she would like if a strange woman came knocking on her door with a child that looks JUST LIKE YOU?!

All things you should have thought about before dropping your pants...

Answer 7

always carry some soap water ans a little towel with you so you can wash you p****r off before you get home  

Answer 8

Im going through a split with my partner and its the hardest thing ever,for both parties what you have done is low, tell her the truth why you want to leave this will make it easier on her, be a man and make it easier on her and the child

Answer 9

Well, 'missy'.  Seems like you should have asked these questions BEFORE acting in a louse manner.

You sure don't wish to 'not hurt her' very badly, do you?

I'm so tired of you whiny, cry-baby, martyr mentalitied little boys.  Grow up, be a man.  Before then, just go hide in a hole so none of the rest of us need to be disgusted by you.

Answer 10

The best solution is get down to the root of your problem and why you do the things you do and then you can start to find good result.

Don't ignore it because it will only get worse.