What do you do for a child who has been sexually abused?

Question

Last night my friend walked in on her boys (8 & 10) laying on top of one another & they both had a hard on. She asked them what they were doing & they said that one asked the other to hump him. She sat down with them & asked them why they were doing that & if anyone had ever touched them in their private areas. The reveled that 2 weeks ago when their older cousin (12) was visiting that he touched them & tried to get them to touch him. They said that they told him no & that they knew it was wrong. Now my friends doesn't know what to do? What should she do about her boys & about this cousin (who's parents don't care much about him) is there someone she can and should call to report this so he can get help? Heres the kicker, She was suppose to move in with me but I have a little girl & I am not sure if I should be scared that they are going to touch her. They said they would never do it to anyone else & they would never do anything to hurt their "little sister" HELP

Answer 1

stay well away

Answer 2

I am sorry to hear about you and your friend's situation. She should report it to Child Protective Services so that way the cousin is able to get the help that he needs. Since his parent's do not care much about him, it is unlikely they will get him into counseling on their own. The boys should also talk to someone since it appears that they are confused with what happened and need help coping.

It is a hard situation that you are in. I do not want to say that they boys will or will not perp on other kids, as they have been perped on, but it is always a possibility. Many children that have become victims will at some point become perpetrators due to various reasons. Hopefully if they get help early enough, that will never be the case. You just may have a difficult time living there because it will always be in the back of your mind and you will be scared for your daughter.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I tend to be leary of people who come on here and something like this is their first question. I feel as though if this were true then you wouldn't feel the need to add unecessesary details such as the fact that the boys had "hard ons" and if you did then you would use a more appropriate term such as they were erect. I am usually a pretty good judge of these things and so I honestly think you are just a troll trying to get off on a sick made up story.

BUT just in case you are not my advice is that the parents of the boys get them into counseling right away and they contact CPS so the 12 yr old boy, who was probably molested himself, can get help as well.

and trust me the two boys will not "just get on with their lives" what an idiot someone has to be to say that..you obviouisly have NO clue what you are talking about. they need counseling and there could be more going on than you even know.

Answer 4

Children are curious by nature. the fact that the boys refused to get involved with the cousin but tried later on to "hump" each others proves this point.

there's a big chance they will try to explore more about it. I am not saying that you should not let them move in with you. because this kind of thing can happen ANYWHERE. i recommend that they have separate rooms and that you keep a close eye on them when they play.

again, this sort of thing should not be magnified. children are innocent, that's true, but they are extremely curious (we've all been there once). so a session with them to satisfy their curiosity is totally recommended.

and I wouldn't call what the cousin did (sexual abuse). the kids were smart enough to sense that it was not right and nothing happened.

hope it gets sorted out... :)

good luck

Answer 5

maybe she should take the boys to counseling? and not move in with you. you dont want to risk it for your little girl.

but the first answer is totally right. this isnt really the right place. to do whats best for your family go to a professional.

best of luck :)

Answer 6

These children need professional help, as do the parents of the children. There's obviously some sort of behavior going on causing the older boy to act the way he is, and a therapist would be the only one able to determine why these things are going on and how best to help all of those involved cope and understand their behaviors and perhaps channel these emotions causing this into a more positive direction.

Answer 7

absolutely DO NOT let them move in with you. Its not the boy's fault- but you have to put your daughter's best interests first. These boys are obviously dealing with the trauma by reenacting it, and you dont want them near your child.

Your friend should look into therap. She should inform the cousin's parents of his behaviour. It sounds like he was sexually abused himself. Very sad situation

Answer 8

Honestly it sounds like boys being boys. The 12 year old (if your claim of his parents not caring is true) probably sees too many sexual movie scenes, or has walked in on his parents.

The 12 year old should be seen and talked to by a child psychologist to make sure he hasn't been molested. The 8 and 10 year olds will probably get on with their lives.

I wouldn't worry about the 2 boys messing with your daughter, but I wouldn't let them sleep together either.

Answer 9

I am no expert for sure. I would be there for the boys but definitely ask a family therapist their opinion without mincing anything and stay away from that other cousin unless his family takes him to family counseling too.

Answer 10

get help for all three counting the cousin. doctors help call the police for advice

Answer 11

Please don't ask here - get professional advice. Where depends on which country you are in, but I think in any country if you call your doctor's surgery they will be able to give you a contact.

Answer 12

you should talk to him-her without scaring the child making him-her feel safe and secure you should tell that this could have happend to anyone and that its not his-her fault.