What do you do if you are a "happy" adoptee who has "issues"?

Question

I'm so confused I don't know what club to join. :) I know I have issues related to adoption (i also have issues not related to adoption) But really I also see my life as a "gift" and really don't get angry about it so I guess I'd be considered happy too. I can't figure out if I'm a "them" or an "us."

BTW-I'm also a pro-adoption-ite who believes in reform....and I appreciate bio-moms but have utmost respect for amoms.

Answer 1

It's no good honey, you're out of both clubs!  Lol, seriously, the only thing you need to worry about being is YOU.

It's your life, you're living it, and how you feel about everything in it is up to you.  Don't let anyone else ever make you question something that you are ok with.

And although not everybody thinks that way, which is ok, I don't see anything wrong with seeing life as a gift.  It doesn't mean you see ADOPTION as a gift, just the chance to live your life, of which adoption is a part.

Answer 2

It doesn't matter what club you belong to.  I believe in adoption as long as its done right, meaning ethically, legally and morally.  I am in both clubs in most respects.  I personally believe that adoptees and their families should have access to the records that accurately record their lives.  How they use it is completely up to them.  How they deal with adoption issues is again their choice.  If they need a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen, or a voice to help them, I am here.

Answer 3

Well you can hang out with me as long as you don't call me names.

I like "happy" adoptees, I just don't like mean people.

They scare me.

Answer 4

I'm with you on this one 100%.

Answer 5

I was raised in a very privileged life, i traveled the world, had a few horses, was raised on a giant ranch, i had good aparents who love and care about me a lot, but i'm not happy with the industry of adoption and I am working to take them down.

If we have any sort of common ground on open records, i'll work with you. Thats what Im starting with. Anyone who supports open records i'll work with. I don't care what your beliefs are,  you're an adoptee and your voice matters! Speak and own your truth!

Answer 6

Best thing to do is stay true to yourself. You don't have to take sides just answer the way you feel. There will be some that you don't agree with but just read the answers with an open mind and make your own decisions. I know that even though you may not totally agree with someone doesn't mean that they don't give really good answers sometimes. Sometimes it's the opposite opinion that makes you see the whole picture. Just ask what you want and answer when you feel you want to.

Answer 7

he he, I know what you mean.  I'm a happy adoptee and had a good life but I have 'issues' related to life and also related to adoption, so people call me 'anti-adoption' 'ungrateful' and 'angry' 'bitter' plus many unmentionable names.

I don't think labels are useful really, just be you and follow your heart

Answer 8

Everyone has issues, that doesn't mean they aren't happy sometimes, too.  

The adoptees that talk about their 'issues' are automatically considered angry, but that's just other people judging.  I don't really get it myself.  

Just be yourself, talk about what is important to you.  That's what I do.

Oh, and ignore the thumbs.

Answer 9

Well, that's just it.  Sometimes people get confused and think that if an adopted person wants reform, then they're just an angry malcontent that hates adoption.

No so, indeed.  I'm adopted.  I'm happy and have a good life.  Like any other human being I have my own quirks, issues, whatever you want to call them.  I'd hardly be human if I didn't!  

Other people's issues are none of my concern unless they choose to share them with me.  My best friend and I have different types of adoptions in many ways.  We each have our own feelings about different aspects of adoption.  On some we agree, on others we don't.  But, we both agree on ethics, openness, honesty and equality in adoption.  We will both fight like h**l for open records.

My point is that none of us needs to agree on everything all the time.  And we certainly don't need to all have the same "issues" and levels of happiness (however THAT could ever be defined!)  I mean, we're all individual human beings who can only be who we are.

But, if you agree on working for reform, then let's do it.  Your other issues, or lack of, are yours.  I'm  a generally  happy person and I like happy people anyway.

Answer 10

there is no club, to join. just speak your truth. i have learnt to ignore people who i don't agree with. the only time i may call someone out is if they have been rude and mean.

other than that i just speak my truth, just like u should speak yours

Answer 11

I'm like Switerland.  Being neutral allows you to be yourself and not be sucked into any battles.  Thank you for your question.  It brought out the best in everyone.  Stay happy.  And continue to fight for what you think needs changing in the adoption process.