What do you do if you have nobody to take your child in an emergency?

Question

My husband and I are in our 20s (me early 20s, him late 20s) and are pregnant with our first baby! My husband is AWESOME, helpful, wonderful, but he works a lot and has a 1/2 hour drive to and from work. One the one side, the soon-to-be-grandparents consist of a raging alcoholic and his (mean) wife who is very, very chronically sick and has trouble getting around, and on the other side two people who just plain shouldn't be taking care of children because they are screamers and I've seen them put their other grandchildren in dangerous situations before, repeatedly. Plus they ALL live 7 1/2 hours north of here (we're in Canada) and it is a long drive that is dangerous in winter. Aunts and uncles are out of the question: there aren't many, they live too far away, and most have substance abuse issues. (Nice family huh?)

We live in a small town and I have some great friends, but they don't seem baby-crazy and/or they live far away and I don't think they are responsible enough to take care of my baby.

I'm up to taking care of my baby and I already love this child SO MUCH and I'm so excited to do it and I don't want anybody else looking after my baby! But...this is my first child, I have read up on it a lot but I know when you're thrust into it sometimes- I'm afraid I won't have any idea what I'm doing sometimes.

What happens if I get really sick? I have nobody to take care of my baby in an emergency, say if I had to go into hospital, or if one day I burnt out and needed somebody to take care of my baby for an hour while I took a nap or something- I just don't have that.

Answer 1

Start looking now for a stay at home mom who would be willing to take your child or an older teen. Of course you would have to pay them, but having a relationship before your baby is born will help.

Most cities have some sort of crisis nursery where children under 6 can stay at if mom or dad is in the hospital and there is no one to watch the kids. Call your hospital and see if they know of a place like that in your area.

Answer 2

Friends pull through for you when you need them the most. I lived on the opposite side of the country when I had my daughter. We had friends but they were not the most responsible of friends, but when I needed them they DID pull through for me. Other than that, Daddy. As far as being sick and burnt out and just need a nap... well, that is motherhood in a nut shell haha!  

Answer 3

your husband don't nap until he comes home and if you end up really sick and need to go the hospital he will watch the child isn't that why you decided to have a child with him because of the great father he will be also your a first time mom don't freak yourself out so much take it one day at a time im a mommy of four all i have is my husband we help each other out alot

good luck

Answer 4

Join a mother's group. Make friends. When you know your friend has a sick baby take her a casserole. Offer to have your friend's child for a coupla hours while she shops and then she can have your child the following week when you need a break. If there is an emergency you will have the support network there.

Answer 5

there isnt anything you can do you just have to get on with it whether you need a break or not. my mum was in your situation with 4 kids and noone had us even when she was desperate for a break, because when you have kids they have to come first and cope with anything that gets in the way. as you have your partner im sure you wont struggle once you get into a routine with your baby, if you did get ill then im sure he would support you no matter what. its so different when you have the baby rather than beforehand, it will all work out and come to you naturally dont worry. if you dont have anyone you can rely on or trust to watch your baby now and again then sorry to say but you will just have to get on with it alone until your partner is home. im pregnant with my first baby and dont want anyone else to look after my baby but me, i do trust my family and my partners but i just wouldnt feel reassured enough to do so and would rather go without to look after my daughter myself. if it worries you then talk to your partner about it and maybe even your midwife, there are people out there who can help you and im sure you can make new friends eventually who also have kids and can help out. dont worry it sounds worse than it is but it will be fine. im sure whatever your families are like they wouldnt put your baby at risk if it was serious enough that they had to look after your baby. good luck and dont let it get to you.

Answer 6

Relax you having your first baby jitters everyone gets them my husband family consist of a drunk father that is rude to everyone and his mom dont like kids unless there sleepin my mom has a million health issue and my dad died my sisters party to much and his brother is a drug addic his sister already had her hands full so we realy didnt have anyone to help out luckely my first daughter would just eat and sleep alot my second one though was a little coliky didnt like sleeping at night eather for the first month so what we did was work a sceduale I would stay up with her till I got tired and he was on the computer till late so he would stay up with her for awhile and when she napped during the day I would relax somtimes nap but but its been almost 3 years since my oldest child was born I have been in the hospital and she was right at my side I bearly ever had anyone watch her unless they offerd even then we usually didnt it has helped us bond and helps her behave more not acting like other kids and I can take her to a store without freaking out over a toy you dont need a babysitter when somthing comes up you will know what to do who to call your a mom it will work out dont worry

Answer 7

First of all, the way it sounds.. I'd never let these people watch my baby! U'll always need somebody to take ur baby for a few hrs here, a few hrs there for u sometimes but thats not always going to happen. There's days when ur going to be extremely tired and need a nap, but the only way ur going to get one is by getting one when ur baby is taking one. As for making important runs, ur baby can go with u. U'll want her to. When my baby was newborn and I had to go to the emergency room or doctor, I wanted mine there because he's the only thing that made me feel comfortable. Try enrolling her in daycare or trusting one of ur close friends, but I'm sure u can find someone to do it. I always manage a way and I live in a town where I know nobody and trust no one. U'll be fine tho, u'll know in ur heart what ur limit is and what to do.

Answer 8

Join a mother group.

My mate is having an op in a few weeks and her mates from mother's group are all going to help her out till she is feeling better. Her baby is 6 months.

You don't feel bad when you know your new friends have kids anyway.

And you can return the favor one day.  

Answer 9

I am a mom of 2 and I am very protective as well.  Since you are married, I would have your husband take off work if you were really sick.  

Answer 10

First of all when your baby is born all your worries about this and that will go away. If your baby needs to be taken care of and there is no one to take care of your baby because you are hurt and your husband isn't there then call 911 *if you have that in Canada I have no idea*. Talk to your neighbors and try to meet some moms around your area. There are people out there you will meet once but in an emergency situation are always willing to help. About the part where you are burnt out and need a sitter..well you will quickly get over that one. I have been there and done that so many times with my kids but because they need you you just adjust to it for their sake. You can't take a nap when you feel like it because the baby needs you and you will just have to adjust to that. Now if you can't do that then there is adoption. But for a mother to sit there and ignore their baby because they need a nap that is just insane. I think when your baby is born you will realize that too. Also a good idea is to put your baby in day care. They normally start at like 6 weeks. If you can't afford it just think for part time and in the US we get subsidized child care which is what I am applying for now. So there are options to help you out.  

Answer 11

i agree you better start looking now.

i found a great babysitter for my baby when i had to go back to work as the father left.  he couldn't handle being a father.