What do you do if your spouse is dissapointed by the s*x of the baby?

Question

We are expecting our first baby and my husband has always been saying that he would be happy be it boy or girl. Though occasionally he was talking how cool it would be to have "father-son" time and what he could teach his little boy. Last week we found out we are having a girl, and I was shocked to see how dissapointed my husband got. He still says it is OK, he is happy, but he was really hoping his first-born would be a boy.

Can you share your experience if you were in a similar situation? Did your spouse/partner ever warm up to the child? Was he/she a good father/mother? What can I do to help him with his feelings? My husband is a good man, but I am really dissapointed by his reaction.

Answer 1

My dad said he always wanted a boy. 2 girls later and he says all the time he couldn't imagine his life without his lovely's. Your husband is and will be ecstatic! Congrats!

Answer 2

I went through the same thing! But the ironic things was it was with me:  I wanted a boy, and we got a girl. I admitted to my husband because I know I can be honest with him to talk things out, and he said he understood and that it was alright, that he knew when the baby came, I would love the baby for "her" and you kow what? He was right, I did warm up immediately.  you can help your husband out by telling him you understand his passion for wanting a boy, first and foremost. After,  ask him to share in your excitement! Maybe you two can go shopping together for baby clcothes...or maybe you could buy him a picture frame that says ...daddy's girl on it or something. Its always great to have expectations, but anything can and will happen, so embrace what you have....there is always the possibility that you can try again?~ :)

hope those thoughts help....

Answer 3

Our first was a daughter and my husband and I both had no preference.  He even told me he wanted a daughter first because he has two older sisters and he feels that he learned a lot about women from having sisters.   I asked him "You know, its not our decision right?"

For our second, he told me he really wanted a boy this time.  But he was prepared for the eventuallity that we may have another girl.  When our second daughter was born he may have been a little disappointed initially but quickly got used to the idea of having only daughters.  They are Daddy's girls and have him wraped around their little fingers.

He'll get used to the idea.  One look at his daughter and he'll fall in love with her.

Answer 4

He won't even remember feeling that way after she's here.  Our first was a girl, there is NO difference after they arrive.  Don't worry.

Answer 5

Yes! My husband was the same way. We both wanted a boy first. ("wanted" is a hard word to use on the subject..more like invisioned) When we found out the s*x of the second baby...another girl you could really see it in his eyes. I was hurt and mad for a little bit. Once we had a couple weeks to get used to the s*x...I started having 100% opposite symptoms as my first pregnancy...so we then started saying "it has to be wrong, it must be a boy". Doctor still said, " no, it's a girl"...well 1 month 4 days before having the baby we found out it was a boy!!!!! We were ecstatic. I'm now 15 weeks 2 days with #3....and urine test says it's a girl. We find out on the 22nd via ultrasound, and are hoping it's another girl! We'll see.

Some level of disappointment is normal. Every man dreams of having a son, it's just natural. So don't blame him or be mad at him. Just talk it out and be happy. He will come around...usually pretty quickly. Keep him involved and all of that. Like I said to "want" one over the other isn't the right choice of words. But to picture things one way is normal. I wouldn't be worried, cuddle up give the man a kiss and talk about the future. Gosh I remember those days like it was yesterday!!! Time flies hun....just enjoy every second!

Answer 6

In 2 weeks, i will be finding out the s*x of my baby as well. He's hoping for a baby boy, and i'm secretly hoping for a little girl. Tho we both agreed, boy or girl, we will be happy and greatful. The same will go for your husband as well, i'm sure. Tho he may be alittle disapointed, he'll get over it. Espesially when your little girl is here. Most likely he will forget ever feeling disapointed, and he will be just as happy if it were alittle boy. And over the years, he will see that there's stuff he can still do with his little girl, just as he could if it were alittle boy. Goodluck, and congradulations :)

Answer 7

OK...here is the deal. technically it is his "fault" that you are having a girl instead of the boy that he wanted....the man determines s*x.

When I got pregnant with my youngest (now 2.5 years old) I really wanted another girl. I knew that I would be home with this child for the next 5 or 6 years. Since I do have a business selling cosmetics I figured a girl would be the best fit....plus I like all the frilly clothes and stuff. I was sick as a dog too, just like with my daughter. Imagine my shock and disappointment when the US tech told me that she saw s*****m. I had invisioned my daughter playing with my best friends son and them getting married one day. needless to say it is 2.5 years later and my son is my little shadow. He snuggles with me half the night and totally charms my customers. I can't imagine NOT having him and having a girl instead. And my husband, who was convinced that I was having a girl (he did not want to know but my daughter told him about something she overheard) is totally infatuated with his little man.

Answer 8

kick his a s s!! hes a jerk..i had this same problem, and my wife got over it.

Answer 9

most men want that boy, especially their first one. He probably feels bad enough about being dissapointed so try not to say anything to him. After that princess is here he will think he was crazy for every being disapointed in the first place.

Answer 10

I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. Most men want a boy the first time, but when they see their daughter for the first time, she becomes his princess. He'll be fine and so will you and your little girl!

Congrats!!

Answer 11

It's temporary. As soon as the baby gets there, he'll forget all about his disappointment's and be just as ecstatic as you are--and, I imagine, a great dad. =)

Congrats to both of you as well!

Answer 12

I havent experienced it personally but my friend has gone through that. Her hubby wanted a son and they ended up having a girl. Let me tell you this, whenever I see them now, the father cannot let go of his daughter. She is his little princess and he spoils her like crazy .The moment he held her, the gender dissapointment was totally gone. Good luck and it will get better soon.

Answer 13

im sure he'll get over it. once he sees that baby, he'll forget everything.

just tell him that he can still have fun bonding moments. im a girl and my dad taught me alot (good movies and good music).

Answer 14

If he's like my husband (and every guy I know) he's not really disappointed....he's freakin SCARED!  I bet all he is thinking about is "what am I going to do about boyfriends??"  Because he knows how horny he was as a teenager and he is thinking about all the boys that are going to be after your daughter!!!

I know the whole boyfriend thing is WAY down the line...but fathers of girls really do worry about it from day one!

She will be a daddy's girl and will have him wrapped around her finger!  

Congratulations!