What do you do in a situation like this???

Question

i'm going to be 21. we still argue like we always have been. it sucks. i grew up so much and changed a lot. It's not good enough. I feel like people just naturally hate me. like we could be fine and dandy...then boom it's like they hate me. my boss was like that too. i did everything for him. plus extra..like working like crazy for everyone else. yet i was told i never worked...ya know 6 days a week plus overtime...is not work! my mom too. shes like telling me i know you and this and that...and she doesn't! and it's just so annoying. i've realized it's her attirude and shes stressed...but come on. im shocked what she said isn't eating me away. she crosses the line every argument. i hate that we fight. i hate that im not the golden child she wants. i can deal with it...i can go on and have a good relationship with friends and live...but its depressing. i want to make her proud...i want her to be happy for me..and not hate me. how can i change this? how can i make her see im not a 2 year old anymore? besides all that i do already

Answer 1

move out, be your own person. She will learn to accept you for what you are and you won't need to worry about what she thinks.

Answer 2

im guessing she wants to see you move on? get a job thats satisfying. get married and give her grand kids and the whole big house thing. sometimes parents just expect too much from there kids and it might be up to you to word it out for her. or it could be that she just wants to see you happy. but yeah dude, think along the lines of positive stuff and avoiding things that'll make her disapointed.  

Answer 3

Talk with your mother like an adult would.  When she starts to argue with you, just keep calm and speak as a mature adult would - outlining your points and making sure that you have your facts right. Its the same with your manager, outline the facts to him, say what you have done and how much time you have spent on overtime.  Be reasonable in your argument.  Be willing to consider the other persons point of view and take it easy.

Answer 4

ugh...you just decribed my life!  I'm 37, so let me see if I can spare you years of grief.  After going through severe depression, and several years of soul searching, I finally realized that I'm fine just the way I am.  I know that I'm a good person, just like you do, and if no one else sees it, then so be it.  I surround myself with positive people who won't bring me down.  The important thing to remember is that you can only change yourself - you can't change other people...so your mom has to do the work on herself to make those positive changes.  You can't live to please other people, no matter how much you love them or want them to love you.  You just have to live your best life and let them come to you.  Good luck, I hope things get better for you!